Born on a Thursday # 49 – Harshly Expressed

I have had a really awful past few weeks. My entire world has been rocked – and one swift action out of rage a few days ago really flipped everything upside down. Not usually my style.

It’s painful.

At the same time, I’ve gained a lot of clarity in these last few days. Some of my blind spots have been revealed. I have a new understanding of some of my triggers, what I deserve, and how I need to express myself and my needs – especially in intimate relationships – going forward.

Really deeply sad and regretful to have lost a friend in the process.

And then I read this from astrologer Anne Ortelee’s Weekly Weather for today:

Jupiter’s Day Thursday February 27, 2014  Moon in Aquarius goes void trine to Mars so we have another productive day if we can hold the center and not be distracted by all that is flowing and flying around our ears. Especially the craziness zooming around in the world! Aren’t you glad you know about Astrology? Juno and Eris collaborate, spreading discord, disdain and difficulty to one and all.  Watch for Envy issues in partnerships. Ceres stations on 1 Scorpio and amplifies the energy of endings, stuck, darkness and chaos…  Ceres in early Scorpio amplifies the killing nature of Ceres… she IS the angry dark deadly feminine in her current placement of Scorpio in Scorpio’s decant.  Ceres goes retrograde until June 1 and invites us to reevaluate how we nurture and take care of ourselves and others. Time to change that care taking energy! You may find you need to rage, vent or shake your fist at the sky. Check in on the depressed folks you know as this week is a great one for suicides. Try to allow the passions, angers, rebellions, inspirations, integrations to rise up from deep within. They aren’t going to take you over but they do need to be expressed. Pallas has a series of aspects today that help you see things you never noticed before because, frankly, you weren’t ready to see them earlier but now you are.  So look!  Notice the patterns and how they repeat themselves. No being hard on yourself either. You are where you are. You did the best you could with the information you had and the situations you were prepared for and ready to see.  So now you know more.  Now you are wiser. You would handle it differently next time after what you learned THIS time. So know that you are wiser and smarter.  Life is all about growth.  And handing the slide, managing the decline… Inspired ideas take place mid-day as Moon and Mercury connect. Health matters can take a turn for the worse so go promptly to the doctor in the event of a sudden change. Watch out for hot water blasts! You can have a sudden blast of anger or sadness tonight.  Ceres stationing in Scorpio is like that!

preparing (c) 2014 Holly TroyI’ve got four planets in Scorpio. Irritated. Stressed.

Of course, whether you believe in astrology or not, you still have free will. Choose compassion. Choose love.

If you get mad at someone – try to be kind. Or wait a few days to see if you can calm down. Take a walk, shower, bath, run, do yoga. Swim.

Life is short. Don’t be mean. Be kind. And if you are really sorry, say so.

Namaste,

Holly

Born on a Thursday #3: Yin in Yang

This week the Sun is moving into Pisces, and Mercury and Mars are already there. On top of that there is all kinds of Neptunian energy making itself known in the cosmos. I don’t know if it’s the planets, but I do know that I have been needing extra sleep , and I’ve been dreaming so much that even when I’m awake I even feel like I’m dreaming!

Anne Ortelee urged her readers to ask themselves these questions this week while Pisces energy floods our collective cosmic condition (I haven’t asked myself these questions yet – but they are good – and I will):

What do you believe? What have you come here for? What are you driven to express? What do you use to ground yourself when the ocean around you feels too unruly? What must you remember? What do you wish to forget? What will you release to have drift away into the Ocean of Pisces energy swirling around you? What do you wish would jump into your boat adrift on the sea of your life?

On my walk home from work today, I noticed the cosmic feminine all around me. Evidence of Yin in Yang below . . .

Open © Holly Troy 2013
Poppy blossom.

In Oz, Dorothy fell asleep in a seductive sea of poppies.

There is power in the slumber, but balance is important. We need to take the messages from our dreams, use the sleep to refresh ourselves and have the ability to take actions that are in the highest alignment for ourselves and the rest of the world. (It’s easy to see we are all connected while we spend time in a yin state).

If we can keep remembering that we are all connected, maybe we can stop fighting each other.

Flanders Field

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved, and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

-Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae (1872 – 1918)

Poppies are also red, which is a feminine color, the color of blood, of life. 

(Try writing about red without mentioning the word red – see what it stirs up)

Yin © Holly Troy 2013This is just amazing – Yonis everywhere on Central Avenue, between investment banks and law offices. Oh yes, they are out there!

spiral 2Spirals are just cool. These remind me of waves in an ocean – which jive with the Neptunian vibe of the week.

Labyrinths. Circling ’round to the center of things, of being, to finding stillness before circling back out into the world.

These spirals emerge out of darkness.

I saw my friend Matthew this week for just an hour or two after not seeing him for three years. We had iced coffee at Lux. He said, “Everything begins.” I said, “Nothing is everything.”

And we went from there.

Yin 2 © Holly Troy 2013Like I said, yonis are everywhere! They are a reminder – spring is coming! Time to plant seeds!

Contra © Holly Troy 2013Absolute embryonic.

I was reminded this week that I had been focusing on yoga and internal observation. I discovered an article I wrote for Elephant Journal a couple of years back. It’s called, Pay Attention, You’ll Feel Better (and *bonus*—you might notice yonis are all over the place if you just relax). The article is an “embryo” for something more to come . . .

Thanks for reading this week!

Om shanti, shanti, shanti. Om peace, peace, peace.

* Come play with me for four weeks! My next online installment of Writing the Energetic Body begins on the new Moon, March 11th.

Lovely Blog

The Living Notebook nominated me late last night for a One Lovely Blog Award.

Thanks for the nomination, The Living Notebook!

There are a few rules to accepting a nomination. I could make up others, but these seems like enough.

1. – Thank the blogger who nominated you.
2. – Tell your readers five things about yourself
3. – Nominate five blogs for the same award
4. – Post the award.

This award is an invitation to one big blog share fest by blogging peers.

Five things about myself:
1. I’m sitting on my couch while I type this, holding my computer between my knees. I don’t have a table or desk set up yet, since I recently moved.
2. I am planning on writing a newsletter today for former and current yoga and writing students.
3. I can hear a clock ticking right now, though I don’t think there is a clock in the house (or rather, apartment)!
4. I recently had my hair cut short after wearing it long for over twenty years. There is still a lot of it, and it is naturally curly.
5. I met my hair stylist in Phoenix, though we were both active musicians performing in New York City’s East Village during the same era (the 90s).

And my nominee choices are:

The Living Notebook Chronicles of the creative process while working toward a master’s in creative writing.

This is Who I AM Robert Alvarez’s journey as an Afro-Cuban Gay Psychic Witch. Part journal, part workshop announcement, part magical advice. Always yummy!

Peace the consciousness, the transitoriness, your existence. Poetry – mind/body experience.

Anne Ortelee Astrologer A blog not to be missed! Anne writes a weekly column about the overarching astrological aspects of the week called the Weekly Weather. She also has a few weekly podcasts. Compassionate and humorous approach to astrology.

Slow Art Salon Discussion and forum about Slow Art making and Slow Art viewing and their place within the global slow movement. The site also serves as a resource to Slow Art exhibitions, organizations, and other related sites.

And my award . . .

Rubble, Trouble, and Celestial Evolution at my Door

Excerpt from Anne Ortelee’s astrological site Weekly Weather:

Venus’ Day Friday September 21 finds Moon in Sagittarius and making productive and helpful aspects to all the planets in the heavens.  Things start to feel calmer and cleaner now. You see things you had not noticed. Mercury’s contraparallel to Uranus offered illumination and a breakthrough around how you connect or work with others.   You could have had stressful dreams last night, do note what they meant. Look up the symbolism of the creatures or images in them to enhance your knowledge. Remember the point of the week is evolution. Helping you evolve to the next place.   See how your refusal to stay the old way or be the old way you used to be essentially has set you free?  The whole concept of evolution is to become more and more aware of the life choices . . . Thus is the story of today.  Venus asks Saturn for a bit of guidance and he graciously offers it to her… so ask your elders or your wisers for guidance.  Or listen to your own inner wiser.  You actually DO know what do to even if you don’t much want to do it. Watch for Ego taking over where evolution needs to gently encourage your soul to change. Think back on your family of origin story so you can be clear what all needs to take place.  See how you got where you are today. See where you want to go next.  All is possible if we agree to grow. Sun connects with the Nodes of Fate offering us a choice about  how to proceed.  Admetos links up with the Nodes to end a situation or complete it so you can move on.   Mars is at 18:46 Scorpio. Click here to see Anne’s full post.

* * * *

Dreams before I awoke this morning . . .

Dreaming I am driving in the city, a city, the way I dream of New York lately. Houston Street is always a vast 8-lane highway that breaks off in a V, dividing the Lower East Side from the rest of the city. Massive buildings, uneven, bulging, and swaying—thousands and thousands of windows. No room for air. It’s grey, the sky, the city, everything. Even red and yellow have a coat of grey.

I am taking Matagi to our new apartment. It is in a house, the street winds around and up a hill. There is a bank that is covered by rocks. On top of the bank are plants and trees, a narrow strip of garden against a chain link fence. I am admiring the plants and tree, an oak – they belong to “my” house. I feel heat on my neck and turn to see an older East Indian man glaring at me – he looks outraged. I get the sense that something must be hidden in the tree. I turn away and resume moving into my house.

The next thing I know I hear a crash at my front door – which is a screen door. Three men have dug up the plants and are throwing them at my door. The older man I saw earlier appears to be shouting orders at them. They are tearing the tree out of the ground and are ramming my door with it screaming, “Where is it? Where is it?” I yell to Matagi to call the police.

The scene at my door repeats over and over again. The color saffron breaks up the grey.

* * * *

I see a polar bear leaping from one piece of ice to the next, the ice breaking apart under his feet. He is getting tired of trying to stay above the water; he will soon be too tired to swim. Ahead of him is the giant plastic garbage heap the size of Texas that floats in the sea. Other bears are on the heap. It spins around and around, some bears sensing it as if they are on a carousel, uneasily crouching low but straining their necks to see where they are going—while others are going about their lives as if this is the way it has always been.

Plastic trash glaciers.

Everything yellowing and covered in grey.

photo from Local Philosophy

Very 5th Chakra Week in Astrology (3.12.12)

So I just finished creating this recording for my Writing the Energetic Body workshop where I talked about how the 5th Chakra is about our Divine Will, or basically our calling in life. It is about being honest with ourselves, and how that honesty and acting on our Truth (Divine Will) is not only good for ourselves, but for everyone. (Each of us is here for a reason – and when we listen and tap into it, we are elevating the overall vibe of the universe).

The first half of my recording got cut off (Mercury retrograde?), but my relaxation exercise on the chakra was saved! Then I listened to Anne Ortelee’s Weekly Weather podcast, and she essentially talked about the 5th Chakra without calling it the 5th Chakra. Synchronicity like this has been happening all week, so I am sharing the groovy connection.

Chakra 5: Visuddha ~ Purification, Communication, Creativity • The Right to Speak and Be Heard • Ether, Sound

The Fifth Chakra is about Communication and Creativity.  It is about keeping our word with ourselves and with others. When our 5th Chakra is balanced, we can trust and allow the “Divine Will” (which is really our Higher Self) to flow through us.

In writing (or any other creative act like music, painting, cooking, speaking), Divine Will is when it feels as if we have let go and have “channeled” our words. Have you ever reread your work and wondered, “Did I write that?” It’s becoming so in the flow with whatever you are doing that you lose track of time and your expression becomes effortless. Whatever your work – whatever you are driven to do – that’s it.

Question: What am I meant to do with my life?

According to Anne Ortelee, astrologer and teacher, this week is all about decisions concerning our life’s calling. Mercury is pushing the agenda and the big “life” planets are responding.

Check out Anne’s Weekly Weather Podcast and listen for yourself!

Big Planets – Big Changes – Have a listen to Anne Ortelee’s Weekly Weather

I love Anne Artelee’s weekly show. She brings her down-to-earth wisdom and compassion to her weekly “forecast”. There are a lot of cosmic shifts happening (endings) in the stars right now – big ones – and if you’re feeling it, it may be worth your time to have a listen to her show.

Have a great week! Om shanti.

Anne Ortelees January 15 2012 Weekly Weather 01/15 by Annes Weather | Blog Talk Radio.

What would happen if you owned your passion?

What needs to move in your life? What is nudging at you?

Eve Ensler said [that] when you feel fear, to ask yourself, ‘Are you going for approval OR are you going for change?’ . . . Are you going for change? Do you know what change will bring into your life? Are you simply afraid to change? Why? What is the source of the fear you have about change? Digging down into that question, layer by layer provides interesting answers. Delve in the energy and into yourself for a bit.” ~ by Anne Ortelee – her public service question/announcement for the week

An image of Ganesh, Remover of Obstacles, to help make change a little easier. Maybe removal of fear is a good start . . .