Solstice Intention Setting for 2017 (and beyond)

Several years ago I learned an exercise similar to the one I am presenting here based on an Abraham Hicks Teaching. This is my own version of the exercise. I borrowed this post from one of my workshops. The exercise was based on writing and using the energy of the new moon. I’ve revised it for the Winter Solstice – which is, in a way, the New Sun of the year.

IMG_2581Currently, we are at the Winter Solstice, or the longest night of the year. This is a good time to release what we don’t want – what is unconscious and holding us back from moving forward in our lives. Once we have let go and created space within ourselves, we can create a vision and make intentions for how we want to move forward.

For tonight, or, for the next few nights, it is a good time to set intentions. I propose an intention setting exercise this evening. This is a powerful time for growth. During the winter months, the surface of the earth appears to be fallow, but underneath the surface, roots are digging down deep, and seeds and bulbs are waiting for spring to push forth their potential. Right now is a powerful time to plant intentions so that they may grow strong and grounded beneath the surface before emerging in the spring. Continue reading “Solstice Intention Setting for 2017 (and beyond)”

Scorpio 2014 – Writing the Energetic Body

Just finished setting up the private website for the 2014 Scorpio Writing the Energetic Body Online Class. I keep refining the work. Little by little.

In a couple of days we will be writing – and sharing and shifting our inner landscapes. New Moon Solar Eclipse starts it. If you want to join in, register here. 

My “About” page:

Hello! Hello!

My intention for Writing the Energetic Body is to explore coping with change, healing, and taking responsibility for our selves, our society, and our planet, through creativity and the creative process.

Writing the Energetic Body will use the major chakra system as the “backbone” for self-exploration through writing. Creative visualization, gentle movement, sound, sensory stimulation, collage and writing prompts designed to “wake up” specific chakras will inspire a series of timed writings and creative excavation.

As a participant, you will:

  • use writing as a tool to compassionately and creatively observe your Self
  • uncover hidden impulses, stories, and patterns in your life
  • use movement to awaken the body/mind
  • utilize the breath for presence in the moment
  • do collage work to deepen and expand your vision

Each week, we will focus on the issues of one chakra.

1st Chakra – This is our entrance into the earthly plane, our right to be in the world. Issues surround survival and our “tribe”.

2nd Chakra – This is where we experience the power of relationships. We will explore pleasure, sexuality, emotions, and the desire to create.

3rd Chakra – This is where we gain our sense of personal identity, power, and will. Who are you? What is your purpose?

4th Chakra – We will open to compassion, self-acceptance, and love.

5th Chakra – We will look at clear communication, self-expression, creativity and “Divine Will”. What happens when you speak your Truth?

6th Chakra – We will explore perception, clarity of vision, and psychic ability. How do you see the world? How does intuition and imagination expand your life experience?

7th Chakra – How do we understand the world? What is our connection to Higher Power? We will look at thought as the seed of manifestation and how the energy of this “ethereal” chakra can be brought “down to earth”.

meadow (c) 2014 Holly TroyWhy write?

When we value our individual talents, rather than strive to be one with the masses, we contribute to the diversity of our society. When we can find balance and honor ourselves, we lose the need to constantly consume “stuff” in order to feel normal or happy. Our world is rapidly changing; more and more of us are finding that “business as usual” no longer works. We are at a point in our history where it’s imperative that we trust our intuition and innate creativity in order to survive.

If we believe our own vision and drive are valid, then we would naturally want to take care of our world. If we feel that our ideas matter, then the desire to do “good” becomes even more powerful. My intention for Writing the Energetic Body is to explore coping with change, healing, and taking responsibility for our selves, our society, and our planet, through creativity and the creative process.

Our chakra system directly links to our bodies—physically, mentally, emotionally, socially and spiritually. There are over 88,000 chakras, or energy systems, in the body. We have the ability to open ourselves to immense consciousness by working with the chakras.

In this class, we will focus on the seven major chakras and our relationship to them. We will use the major chakra system as a “backbone” for self-exploration through journal writing. Each of us has our own unique life experience, so although we can relate chakras to certain aspects of our lives, our own experiences may be intensely personal and unique.

Writing is a powerful act. When we write on a regular basis, we begin to observe ours selves and our place in the world with detachment. We begin to notice what is colorful in our lives. We may notice recurring themes or interests. We may begin to formulate questions and find the answers on the page. “Are their changes I’d like to make? What ideas would I like to explore more thoroughly? What are my gifts and how can I share them? Who is supportive of my ideas and me?”

Despite having many interests, I have found that as my life shifts and changes, I always come back to writing. Writing is an act of excavating, an uncovering of layers and discovering our own depths and imagination. I believe that when we are present and honest on the page, we can take that experience into our lives and have richer, more dynamic relationships.

I have been allowing writing be a way for me to observe my life. Yoga is also a way to observe my life. Both activities have helped me to move out of competition and worry, and into strength, grounded-ness, compassion, and self-expression.

My intention is to move beyond intellectual understanding of the chakras and to create a safe and sacred space where we will explore aspects of our creativity through the lens of the chakra system.

How to write? What if I’ve never written before?

No worries! The writing prompts and movement are geared to stimulate the chakra we are focusing on. I will ask you to write for a specific period of time. During the writing period, the only requirement of you is to write until time is up.

There is no wrong way to do this. You may write any way you like. Don’t worry about grammar, spelling, or punctuation. They do not matter here. There is only one rule, keep your hand moving. If you feel stuck, keep writing anyway. Try going back to the prompt and write it out until other words arise, then write those—or, repeat the last word you wrote again and again until new words appear—or, write, “I am stuck,” or “I can’t think of anything,” as long as you keep your hand moving. Writing is physical, the words will move through your body and come out of your hand—just keep it moving.

I hope that some of the writing you do here opens you up to going deeper and perhaps inspires you to write a personal essay, a story, a poem, or to explore some recurring themes in your life. At the very least, writing is communication, and, if you can write the truth, then you are deepening your relationship with your Self.

Mostly, I invite you to have fun! I am looking forward to seeing creative energies flowing. Although the prompts are linked in some way to the chakras, I encourage you to let go and just write whatever comes to you.

* * * * *

Om Shanti,

Holly

Born on a Thursday #50 – Consciousness

It seems that consciousness is always moving toward pleasure. Free-write from the Crown (7th) Chakra . .

Consciousness

Soft electricity pulses through my body as I let my mind go. A deep YES wells from within me and I want to share these feelings of abundance and expansion. When I make love to you, your Divine Self, it is because I see the Highest good in you, and I want to share the Highest good in me.

Soft, flowing, dark and light. Piscean energy, merge, release, merge, release. Consciousness consciousness consciousness. I feel it in you as I feel it in myself.

Soft molecule bubbles permeate all existence. The tiniest almost imperceptible lights dance on our breath. I am alone yet I am not. I am surrounded by love, flowing in me and around me.

I trust love. I receive. I receive.

If I have to practice this receiving, then I will. I will practice receiving. I want to receive Love in the physical realm, bring it in through my body let it flow through my fingers, souls of my feet, my mouth, heart, breasts, belly. This consciousness is not disconnected – it is everywhere. In around me, you, the trees, a dog, the stones along the path, the air, the color that vibrates and morphs from light.

Consciousness. Consciousness. Blue dreams, blue sky shifting constantly, imperceptive, softly, slowly, until the finale of daybreak. Suddenly bright. And then, suddenly shifting from white-blue to orange, to pink, to purple, to blue again, to almost black.

blue horse (c) 2013 Holly TroyNothing is ever really black, but almost black. So dark-deep-blue. Nothing but tar, the past boiled down and mixed into a sticky soup – remnants of ages ago. Nothing but black holes. Nothing but the birth and the death of the universe. And stars, like a sprinkling of dust, splatter across the swath of empty space like spilt milk on velvet, a soft highway into the cosmos, like life.

Consciousness. Consciousness. You are gone but always there, like a ghost, like hope. Eventually you will fade as consciousness keeps flowing through me and the present takes over. I move with consciousness so that I can know. I know where I am and what I am feeling. I wash the place, the space, with love and compassion again and again, smoothing, polishing, refining.

Consciousness. Cracking open the world so that what once was can no longer be and always is. Just a brighter vision and a deeper darkness – an indelible pressing of fingers, lips, forehead. An indelible inkling of something more.

Consciousness, widespread and underlying. Under. Over. I feel myself almost wrapped around a rock, just wanting to send love and hold on to it. I am not falling, I am acknowledging. I am in a physical body; my body can hold the consciousness that expands outward to the cosmos. My body can express the cosmos. My body expresses and collects consciousness – from everything it experiences.

Conscious thought – far beyond the pixels on the screen, and yet, now, it is part of the pixel on the screen. As we communicate, we experience more consciousness.

Conscious.

holy (c) 2014 Holly TroyOpen after meditation, peaceful, and a little afraid. I open and I pull back, open and pull back. I take my time, move slowly, make sure I have solid footing before each leap. And I want to leap, and I want to dig. Dig deeply. It is not all above; it is also below. And within.

Yes. OK. It – the “yes”, the flood of YES that brings me back to this again and again, brings me back to expansion, creation, communication, imagination, sex, lovers, life, the ocean, a bike ride, the wind, the trees, the wild air, sleeping under stars, the moon, the river cutting through the desert, the trying trying trying to understand, the understanding, the need for understanding, the giving, the opening, the love, the joy, the heartache, the grief, the chance, the risk, the dusting myself off and trying again, the cold, the sun on my back on my face, fingertips, whispers.

Can consciousness keep me from falling too far? There is a buoyancy, and weightlessness to it all – sometimes unbearable – I want to share it.

03.01.2014

More Heart!

The 30-day Challenge for March is a continuation of the challenge for February. Keep on going.

Also, remember to be kind to yourself, have courage, and be open to the world.

The only reason that we don’t open our hearts and minds to other people is that they trigger confusion in us that we don’t feel brave enough or sane enough to deal with. To the degree that we look clearly and compassionately at ourselves, we feel confident and fearless about looking into someone else’s eyes. – Pema Chodron

30-Day Challenge for March 2014

This month’s challenge is a practice that I have been doing on and off since last May. I can tell you that when my practice is consistent, transformation happens with ease. I also know that when things get moving in my life, I tend to get lax on the practices that make my days go a little more smoothly. So, I am bringing this one back into my life and am sharing it with you because it’s a lovely practice.

I learned this practice from Deepak Chopra.

This is a meditation practice that can be done in as little as ten minutes. You will need – a place where you won’t be disturbed, a writing utensil, and a notebook or journal. Have your writing tools close by.

To begin, bring your self into a comfortable seated position. Close your eyes. Take a few deep breaths, inhaling through the nostrils while allowing the belly to expand, and on the exhale, allow the belly to move back toward the spine. Then, say to yourself,“Who am I? What do I want for my life? What do I want for my life today?” At first, you may get a few images or have a few thoughts that answer these questions. Just notice them, and then let go. It is a meditation, so continue to breathe and focus on the breath, without thinking about the answers.

Set a timer for five minutes. Meditate for five minutes.

When you are done meditating, get your pen and notebook immediately, and write, Who am I? What do I want for my life? What do I want for my life today? at the top of your page. Set your timer for 5 minutes and write whatever comes to you as quickly as you can.

Let this be playful! I have found that the responses to the questions become an exploration about how I view myself, what I want in my life, and how I would like my day to go. Since the answers are quick – 5 minutes is not a lot of time to think much, it is all first response – they are honest. Also, the quick responses don’t give you a chance to wallow in what isn’t working in your life, so more often than not, you wind up with a flash visualization for what a great day would be like.

By doing this meditation and writing, you set into motion an intention for your day, and for your life. Don’t think too much about what you wrote, just put the words down and get on with your day. At the end of the day, review what you wrote. Note how your day went compared to your written desires.

You may begin to find that you begin to effortlessly take the actions needed to steer your day (and life) toward your written desires and dreams.

Of course you can do the meditation and the writing for longer – up to 20 minutes a piece. At least try it for a minimum of five minutes each and see where it leads.

Good luck! I’d love to hear how it goes – feel free to share in the comments.

Om shanti,

Holly

Free-Write Intro to My Writing the Energetic Body: Pisces 2014 Class

I am getting really excited about my class! I encouraged my students to introduce themselves on the class blog – so I decided, “Why not introduce myself as well?” This is a half hour free-write on the topic of introduction.

My name is Holly Troy. I passionately love our mother planet earth and am grateful for my experience of living with her. I really do love the world, and I feel like it is important to do what we can to be gentle on this planet. We need more awareness of how we spend our time. Are we really feeling, connecting, creating, loving?

eat this (c) 2010 holly troyI am grateful for technology, and I am beginning to see the need to pull back – or – edit what it is that I absorb through the media. I remember when I lived in NYC I used to be so overwhelmed by the bombardment of advertising everywhere I walked. It was so hard to get away from all of it, the constant messaging, even the most expensive and exquisite advertising covered with a layer of greasy soot.

Lately I feel like Facebook has turned into Obituary Book.

The more I get outside and breathe and hike among the boulders and mountains and gnarled trees, the more I want to be outside.

The family dog, Stoney, loves it, too. I’ve been walking him a lot lately – he’s been helping me heal my nerves and my heart. He reminds me to slow down and look at the light of the setting sun on the prairie grasses. He knows exactly where to stop and find something to smell so I can look at my surroundings more closely. Resin is pouring out of the bark of some pine trees along our walk. Trees are starting to wake up!

I love this earth! I said that before, but I do. And I love the sky, the deep orange and pinks as the sun sets and sun rises. The washed out blue as the sun dips beyond the horizon, still glowing with light that can only be seen from this particular place. I love the gigantic woodpeckers that live here! I love the ravens, how they speak, I love the crows. I love all the lovers I have ever had. I love riding my bicycle! I feel like I am riding in the sky sometimes, living up here in the mountains. I love the smell of cold. I also love the smell of warmth being carried on the wind when the air is still cold. I love the smell of rain in the desert.

Everything is Color (c) 2013 Holly TroyI am amazed how the more I look at the chakras, the more I realize the awful cost of the division of the Divine and the physical. The disconnection of the Divine from our bodies is mirrored in our disconnection from the earth, from our need for connection to one another and all beings on the planet, from our desires, from our ability to trust and love, from our creative spark. The more I connect, the more I realize the cost of disconnect.

I am grateful that people want to connect. I am grateful that people want to feel more subtlety in their alive experience. There is power and grace and awakening in the subtle.

Om shanti!

I am looking forward to connecting with you all!

Holly

Starting March 1st: Next Session of Writing the Energetic Body Online

Writing the Energetic Body – Shedding Inhibition and Divining Your Intentions – 28 Days of Writing Past the Mind and into the Chakras New Moon in Pisces, March 1, 2014 starts the next class!

Open (c) Holly Troy 2013New Moon is the time to plant intentions — and Pisces is the sign of dreams and intuition. Pisces is ruled by Neptune, so this is a dreamy time, a time when our imaginations and creativity may be heightened. Pisces is also a sign of compassion and empathy. We may be finding ourselves turning inwards and looking at our most intimate dreams. We may be finding ourselves paying attention to our tender places and being aware of those places in others. How do we manifest our creative dreams and how do we use our intuitive sensitivity to improve our lives and to make the world a better place.

During these last few weeks of winter into spring, a lot of activity is happening beneath the surface of our world. As we get closer to the spring equinox, we begin to feel a quickening in our being, much like the sap flowing in trees as they wake up from their winter slumber. This is a very fertile time to set intentions with our deepest, most personal dreams.

We will begin the session with an intention setting ritual and start an exploration of our desires at the crown chakra and work our way down to the root, the earth, our place of manifestation.

Get ready to explore possibility, make (re)discoveries, release inhibition, and develop a writing practice.

Overview of the seven major chakras of the Hindu Chakra System:

1st Chakra – This is our entrance into the earthly plane, our right to be in the world. We will investigate issues surrounding survival and our “tribe”.
2nd Chakra – This is where we experience the power of relationships. We will plumb pleasure, sexuality, emotions, and the desire to create.
3rd Chakra – This is where we gain our sense of personal identity, power, and will. Who are you? What is your purpose?
4th Chakra – We will open to compassion, self-acceptance, and love.
5th Chakra – We will look at clear communication, self-expression, creativity and “Divine Will”.  What happens when you speak your Truth?
6th Chakra – We will explore perception, clarity of vision, and psychic ability. How do you see the world? How does intuition and imagination expand your life experience?
7th Chakra – How do we understand the world? What is our connection to a Higher Power?

We will investigate thought as the seed of manifestation and how the energy of this “ethereal” chakra can be brought “down to earth”.

Some of the benefits of taking part in Writing the Energetic Body:

  • compassionately and creatively observe the Self
  • uncover hidden impulses, stories, and life patterns
  • awaken the body/mind
  • utilize the breath for presence in the moment
  • deepen and expand creative vision
  • loosen up and strengthen fluid writing
img_2658There is no need to “know” anything about the chakra system, our bodies physically and energetically hold information, and by freely writing we can tap into that knowledge. Participants will receive daily writing prompts designed to stimulate a specific chakra for the given day in their in-boxes. We will spend four days on each chakra – three days of daily prompts and one open day where participants will have time to reflect and write whatever arises for them. We will spend only 30 minutes of writing on the given prompt. Participants will return their responses via email to me. Participants will also have the chance to upload their work to a private blog site to share and to give and receive feedback from other participants.

 

I will personally respond to your work via email.

 

You get daily prompts, feedback, and . . . 

 

As an added bonus, participants also receive either written, audio, or video instruction for movement, meditation, or breath work that will deepen the prompt for the day. The additional instruction is so much fun — DIY videos from me getting you out of your head and into your body are a blast Participants may use the additional instruction however they choose—and it is theirs to refer to whenever they like.

 

A couple of related posts about using the body in writing and art:

 

This class is closed. 

Sign up early. I respond to every participant; space is limited!
self-portrait at work (c) 2013holly troy

 

Om shanti,

 

Holly

30-Day Challenge: Everyday Heart’s Desire

In just two days, it will be February 1st, 2014. I hope that if you try February’s challenge it will become a habit in your life.

30-Day Challenge for February 2014

Pink Invitation  (c) 2014 Holly TroyThis month’s challenge is a practice that I have been doing on and off since last May. I can tell you that when my practice is consistent, transformation happens with ease. I also know that when things get moving in my life, I tend to get lax on the practices that make my days go a little more smoothly. So, I am bringing this one back into my life and am sharing it with you because it’s a lovely practice.

I learned this practice from Deepak Chopra.

This is a meditation practice that can be done in as little as ten minutes. You will need – a place where you won’t be disturbed, a writing utensil, and a notebook or journal. Have your writing tools close by.

To begin, bring your self into a comfortable seated position. Close your eyes. Take a few deep breaths, inhaling through the nostrils while allowing the belly to expand, and on the exhale, allow the belly to move back toward the spine. Then, say to yourself, “Who am I? What do I want for my life? What do I want for my life today?” At first, you may get a few images or have a few thoughts that answer these questions. Just notice them, and then let go. It is a meditation, so continue to breathe and focus on the breath, without thinking about the answers.

Set a timer for five minutes. Meditate for five minutes.

When you are done meditating, get your pen and notebook immediately, and write, Who am I? What do I want for my life? What do I want for my life today? at the top of your page. Set your timer for 5 minutes and write whatever comes to you as quickly as you can.

Let this be playful! I have found that the responses to the questions become an exploration about how I view myself, what I want in my life, and how I would like my day to go. Since the answers are quick – 5 minutes is not a lot of time to think much, it is all first response – they are honest. Also, the quick responses don’t give you a chance to wallow in what isn’t working in your life, so more often than not, you wind up with a flash visualization for what a great day would be like.

By doing this meditation and writing, you set into motion an intention for your day, and for your life. Don’t think too much about what you wrote, just put the words down and get on with your day. At the end of the day, review what you wrote. Note how your day went compared to your written desires.

You may begin to find that you begin to effortlessly take the actions needed to steer your day (and life) toward your written desires and dreams.

Of course you can do the meditation and the writing for longer – up to 20 minutes a piece. At least try it for a minimum of five minutes each and see where it leads.

Self-Portrait - New Moon January 2014 (c) 2014 Holly TroyGood luck! I’d love to hear how it goes – feel free to share in the comments.

Om shanti,

Holly

If I weren’t afraid vs. If money were no issue

At the beginning of the month, I posted 30-Day Challenge – If I Weren’t Afraid. Basically, the post was a challenge to look in the mirror and finish the phrase, “If I weren’t afraid . . . ” over and over again for three minutes, then choose one of the things that you said you would do if you weren’t afraid and do it.

Immediately, someone asked me, “Shouldn’t the question be – If I weren’t broke I’d . . .” A few days later, a dear friend of mine messaged me with this, I do challenge you to really answer the question ‘if money were no issue…’ cause though what you said is good and true, there is also a huge Holly Vanidevi that I know who might have some more creative answers to this.

I have thought about this for weeks. To repeat over and over again, “If I weren’t broke . . . ” is an affirmation to being poor, which is then an obstacle the mind has to get over before it can make an intuitive leap to what it really wants to do. It can be a defeat before you even get anywhere. (Believe me, when you are trying to figure out how to afford a can of beans, it is really hard to imagine all the great things you can do when you are starving).

Might as well go back to bed . . . 

look yourself in the eye (c) 2013 Holly TroyThe point of saying, if I weren’t afraid . . .  is to check in with your spirit, to get past your private fears, maybe to admit things that you want for yourself that you may be afraid to admit, or perhaps weren’t aware of. Admitting fear is intensely personal – it brings us to ourselves very quickly. For instance, you may realize you are afraid of losing your job even though if you weren’t afraid, you’d quit your job. Or you may be afraid of being single, but, if you weren’t afraid, you’d get a divorce. Once you shine light on your fears, you get to know yourself a little better, and can decide whether or not you want to take action.

Repeating “if money were no issue . . .” is not checking in with your personal energy system, but the system society has put in place in which to rate your deservedness of the things or experiences you wish to have.  It’s looking outside of yourself, and what you think you deserve based on a society that is, economically and ecologically, an insane system to begin with. To run your energy circuits through the money system first, before going to your gut and heart, is giving all of your power over to something that is set up against most of us to begin with. We just find ourselves wishing for money, while life itself is passing by. 

It’s also holding onto the belief that, “Someday, I’ll be rich (and when I’m rich I’ll do this and that, but until then . . .)”  Most likely, if you weren’t born into wealth, you probably won’t become rich. For instance, women still make less money than men in the United States, and for single women there is an even bigger gap. Frankly, money often is an issue.

I would love to have more money. And I would love to make money doing what I love. I could say my life would be easier had I more money, but that depends on how I come about the money. I used to work at an investment bank, and I made about 5 times more money than I make now – but – I was miserable on a daily basis. Though, if I were any more poor than I am now, I would also be quite miserable. It takes some balancing, and I am on a very thin edge financially.

Boy oh freakin’ boy, if those aren’t some money issues for my mind to be affirming and then stepping around daily!

Getting back to the phrase, If I weren’t afraid . . .  Below are a few examples of my experience with it.

First of all, using the phrase is an experiment. I’m all for experiments. I used this phrase last year while I was in a very dark place, and it helped me to move out of the darkness (and Phoenix – thankfully). As things got better for me, I simply forgot about the phrase and moved on with my life. I was recently reminded of the exercise, was happy with my results, and thought I’d share it with my readers.

As I have been saying to myself – “If I weren’t afraid I would . . .” my responses have been emotional and honest. In my original post, I mentioned a permaculture garden in my example. Over this month, I realize that I have a fear about making a commitment to being in a particular place – and a garden, particularly a permaculture garden, requires time and experimentation and commitment for it to really come to fruition. That is something I learned about myself. What is the worst that could happen? I grow a successful garden and leave it behind for someone else to nurture? I can think of several people who would love to take over a thriving permaculture garden. 

Also, I often found myself saying things like, “If I weren’t afraid, I’d say how I really feel.” And so, I began expressing my feelings more this past month – especially when I am feeling good feelings like love and happiness. I was holding those feelings back for fear of rejection, but holding the good feelings in was making me feel sad. As I let go of being afraid, I let go of the outcome, and now my feelings are flowing much more easily and my relationships are opening up rather than shutting down. Plus, I feel like I am surrounded by people I love and who love me. Bonus!!

I confess, “If I weren’t afraid, I’d make money doing what I love.” I am willing to explore and take new actions toward creating income through my creative work, and am especially committed to my sacred sexuality project with Sydney Francis. I am committed to sharing my knowledge of somatics, creativity and the creative process (especially in writing, the visual arts and sound), ritual, and play. I am willing to explore and experiment, with an open heart and spirit toward gratitude and abundance in all its forms.

Lee's Ferry in Winter (c) 2014 Holly TroyOne of the big things for me – a city girl who moved to the country – is spending more time outside and connecting with nature. Since the new year – I’ve been camping TWICE!! Outside. In the winter. That’s huge and very exciting for me. It is adventurous, expansive, and glorious! if I weren’t afraid, I’d become a National Geographic photographer! (From punk rocker chick to nature photographer – how’s that for a leap)?

If I weren’t afraid vs. if money were no issue? Perhaps the middle-ground phrase is, “As I recognize my abundance I . . . “

Tell me everything you know for sure about your life.

I don’t know where I got this writing prompt from. Maybe it was from the amazing poet, teacher, and adventuress, Maya Stein. (Even if it wasn’t, check out her site and see what she is up to. Her undertakings are inspiring, surprising and fun).

The prompt is this:

Free-write on – Tell me everything you know for sure about your life.

Blue in Red (c) Holly Troy 2014

I know for sure that I have to move my body in order to keep from getting lost in my mind.

I know that there is something special about living in this small mountain town.

I get that I can’t go back in time and experience New York in the 90s over again. I realize now that I can’t even imagine living in the city again – although for a few moments a few months ago, I did imagine it with ardor.

I know I need beauty and fresh air and birds singing and to stop looking at the fucking internet.

I want to remember life before the internet, life before wifi. I want old school – I want pay phones, I want paper letters that arrive in the mail. Wait, I don’t miss pay phones – I am forever repulsed by the surprise of picking up a handset covered in an unidentified, thick, sticky substance.

Fuck public phones – but I do love public transportation when it is not rush hour.

What I love more is riding my bicycle where I need to go. I know for sure I love my bicycle. It keeps me moving.

I know I need the earth, to experience my physicality as much as possible everyday. I know that after 20 years of looking hard for beauty, and sometimes only finding it in the smallest cracks in the sidewalk – I don’t want to look that hard anymore.

I know for sure that I want to have fun, but I don’t want to play games – unless they are volleyball or hockey or scrabble.

I know for sure that I love sex, really good sex, and that I will not put up with bad sex – or be in a relationship with scarce sex or no sex. Fuck that.

I know for sure that I can see bullshit coming from miles away but that I don’t always dodge it very well.

I know I like to put my tongue on smooth stones, to taste their chalkiness and feel the moisture being sucked from my tongue.

I know that I say I want to be near the beach but I keep staying in the high desert because I like to choose when I am around lots of people.

I know I need to visit the ocean soon.

I know that I like to see softness in things that are hard.

I know that I am glad to be a woman, that I love having the body that I have even though I am not always satisfied with it.

What do I know for sure?

I know for sure that I could not have said no to save my life.