Donuts, Aquarius, and The Shadow – Dancing with the Echoes of Eternity

Grief and the shadow have been staring me down. I’m seeing patterns, and more and more, time feels less linear to me, spherical, maybe even donut-shaped.

Addiction, alienation, secrets, power, sexuality, envy, fear – the stuff we keep hidden – I’ve been circling around the subjects and diving through. I feel like I’ve been breaking past human darkness and into something more brilliant and magnificent, something that reverberates beyond my body, beyond space, and beyond time.

Jung saw the shadow as “the seat of creativity.” What if we looked at the shadow differently? What if we if we looked at the shadow as the hidden part of ourselves that is the cosmic hyper-dimensional being that is who we are in eternity – and – what if we take that part of ourselves and integrate it into our consciousness? Shadow as the Infinite Self, rather than the lowest aspect of our being. Or, if we look at the polarity of the shadow – the lowest part must also includes the highest part.

Check out Mama Maga’s video below. She is right in synch with how I’ve been thinking about the shadow and about time lately. She’s discusses the Aquarian view of the Shadow. Our perception of reality can open or close doors to how we view and experience our lives.

Mama Maga asks, “Is the great aspect of you your shadow?” and, “How is the energy in your nervous system transforming?”

The collage below is from Tribal Donut, Issue 1, 1991, page 9 – San Francisco. I view it as incredibly Scorpionic, a way of looking at the shadow as self through creative play. The collage artist was a friend of mine at the time – Jason Keehn (a.k.a. Cinnamon Twist). The creative play I experienced in the 90s was exquisite, and I feel as if those creative doors are opening again. I feel this beautiful (and sometimes scary) part of my past is echoing into my future . . .

tribal donut page 9_cinnamon twist_shadow

Excerpt from Tribal Donut (pages 5 and 6):

Tribal Donut—somewhere between dolphin pod, sufi halka, magikal circle . . . without gurus or masters, or rather, where anyone  & anything can be a source of revelation; where each of us is both student and teacher to each other at different times; where the formal intitiatic hierarchy is dissolved into a movement of learning from one another and from life.

No program, no predefined goal, no rules: call it a kind of experiment in kaos magick.

A signal in the cracks of your so-called waking world, a blip of that way rad akashic musick-video you glimpsed yourself in your wildest, most luminescent luminous dreams . . .

A psychick postcard from the city on the edge of forever, beamed out on the pulse of Love to tomorrow’s friends . . .

Simple premise: Nobody is going to create your utopia for you. (Sidestepping here the aspect of Utopia as dead perfection). Do It Yourself. It may be small, it may be fragmentary, it may be evanescent, and the going may not be very easy, but what else is there to do? What are we here for anyway?

Finished listing excuses for why things are they way they are. after all the obstacles and inertia and “forces of oppression,” there remains a fundamental openness waiting to find channels through which it can remake itself/be remade . . . Count up the untold horrors and pains and ugliness wrought by domesticated primates on each other & their world; try to change it: struggle yes—but do you really know what you are up against, & just how deep it runs? . . .Maybe to truly take responsibility for your own life—as opposed to taking on the weight of the world when you can’t even clean up after your own mess, ‘internal’ or ‘external’—is to see that there’s really nothing preset: so assume your freedom, and out AND PLAY.

And why not create something as radically different as possible from all the dismal and abusive routines of civilization while you are at it . . .??

Scorpio 2014 – Writing the Energetic Body

Just finished setting up the private website for the 2014 Scorpio Writing the Energetic Body Online Class. I keep refining the work. Little by little.

In a couple of days we will be writing – and sharing and shifting our inner landscapes. New Moon Solar Eclipse starts it. If you want to join in, register here. 

My “About” page:

Hello! Hello!

My intention for Writing the Energetic Body is to explore coping with change, healing, and taking responsibility for our selves, our society, and our planet, through creativity and the creative process.

Writing the Energetic Body will use the major chakra system as the “backbone” for self-exploration through writing. Creative visualization, gentle movement, sound, sensory stimulation, collage and writing prompts designed to “wake up” specific chakras will inspire a series of timed writings and creative excavation.

As a participant, you will:

  • use writing as a tool to compassionately and creatively observe your Self
  • uncover hidden impulses, stories, and patterns in your life
  • use movement to awaken the body/mind
  • utilize the breath for presence in the moment
  • do collage work to deepen and expand your vision

Each week, we will focus on the issues of one chakra.

1st Chakra – This is our entrance into the earthly plane, our right to be in the world. Issues surround survival and our “tribe”.

2nd Chakra – This is where we experience the power of relationships. We will explore pleasure, sexuality, emotions, and the desire to create.

3rd Chakra – This is where we gain our sense of personal identity, power, and will. Who are you? What is your purpose?

4th Chakra – We will open to compassion, self-acceptance, and love.

5th Chakra – We will look at clear communication, self-expression, creativity and “Divine Will”. What happens when you speak your Truth?

6th Chakra – We will explore perception, clarity of vision, and psychic ability. How do you see the world? How does intuition and imagination expand your life experience?

7th Chakra – How do we understand the world? What is our connection to Higher Power? We will look at thought as the seed of manifestation and how the energy of this “ethereal” chakra can be brought “down to earth”.

meadow (c) 2014 Holly TroyWhy write?

When we value our individual talents, rather than strive to be one with the masses, we contribute to the diversity of our society. When we can find balance and honor ourselves, we lose the need to constantly consume “stuff” in order to feel normal or happy. Our world is rapidly changing; more and more of us are finding that “business as usual” no longer works. We are at a point in our history where it’s imperative that we trust our intuition and innate creativity in order to survive.

If we believe our own vision and drive are valid, then we would naturally want to take care of our world. If we feel that our ideas matter, then the desire to do “good” becomes even more powerful. My intention for Writing the Energetic Body is to explore coping with change, healing, and taking responsibility for our selves, our society, and our planet, through creativity and the creative process.

Our chakra system directly links to our bodies—physically, mentally, emotionally, socially and spiritually. There are over 88,000 chakras, or energy systems, in the body. We have the ability to open ourselves to immense consciousness by working with the chakras.

In this class, we will focus on the seven major chakras and our relationship to them. We will use the major chakra system as a “backbone” for self-exploration through journal writing. Each of us has our own unique life experience, so although we can relate chakras to certain aspects of our lives, our own experiences may be intensely personal and unique.

Writing is a powerful act. When we write on a regular basis, we begin to observe ours selves and our place in the world with detachment. We begin to notice what is colorful in our lives. We may notice recurring themes or interests. We may begin to formulate questions and find the answers on the page. “Are their changes I’d like to make? What ideas would I like to explore more thoroughly? What are my gifts and how can I share them? Who is supportive of my ideas and me?”

Despite having many interests, I have found that as my life shifts and changes, I always come back to writing. Writing is an act of excavating, an uncovering of layers and discovering our own depths and imagination. I believe that when we are present and honest on the page, we can take that experience into our lives and have richer, more dynamic relationships.

I have been allowing writing be a way for me to observe my life. Yoga is also a way to observe my life. Both activities have helped me to move out of competition and worry, and into strength, grounded-ness, compassion, and self-expression.

My intention is to move beyond intellectual understanding of the chakras and to create a safe and sacred space where we will explore aspects of our creativity through the lens of the chakra system.

How to write? What if I’ve never written before?

No worries! The writing prompts and movement are geared to stimulate the chakra we are focusing on. I will ask you to write for a specific period of time. During the writing period, the only requirement of you is to write until time is up.

There is no wrong way to do this. You may write any way you like. Don’t worry about grammar, spelling, or punctuation. They do not matter here. There is only one rule, keep your hand moving. If you feel stuck, keep writing anyway. Try going back to the prompt and write it out until other words arise, then write those—or, repeat the last word you wrote again and again until new words appear—or, write, “I am stuck,” or “I can’t think of anything,” as long as you keep your hand moving. Writing is physical, the words will move through your body and come out of your hand—just keep it moving.

I hope that some of the writing you do here opens you up to going deeper and perhaps inspires you to write a personal essay, a story, a poem, or to explore some recurring themes in your life. At the very least, writing is communication, and, if you can write the truth, then you are deepening your relationship with your Self.

Mostly, I invite you to have fun! I am looking forward to seeing creative energies flowing. Although the prompts are linked in some way to the chakras, I encourage you to let go and just write whatever comes to you.

* * * * *

Om Shanti,

Holly

2nd Chakra and the New Moon in Cancer

New Moon in Cancer is about our emotional and intuitive nature, the need to nurture and connect, and our empathy toward others. Being a cardinal water sign, Cancer Moon is about taking action, especially in the emotional, psychological and spiritual dimensions of life.

Cancer is a water sign, ruled by the Moon, hence, the connection with the second chakra.

This is a good time to set intentions around emotional fulfillment, relationships, and home.

Below are 2nd Chakra Quotes to go with the New Moon of this month.

* * * * *

“It is true that those we meet can change us, sometimes so profoundly that we are not the same afterwards, even unto our names.” ~ Yann Martel

“You swam in a river of chance and coincidence. You clung to the happiest accidents—the rest you let float by.”  ~ David Wroblewski

We are each of us angels with only one wing.
And we can only fly embracing one another. ~ Lucianao De Crescenzo

“In a social environment that is ever crowded and impersonal, it is becoming increasingly important to reconsider the value of close personal relationships before we are driven to ask the forlorn question, ‘Whatever happened to love?'” ~ Desmond Morris

Jayne Mansfield -

Jayne Mansfield – photographer unknown

“Sex appeal is a wonderful, warm, womanly healthy feeling . . . it comes only from inside, it’s from nothing that’s manufactured. It has nothing to do with measurements or lipstick color. To me, it’s cleanliness, and youth, an effervescent desire to enjoy life.” ~ Jayne Mansfield

“In the orchard and rose garden I long to see your face. In the taste of Sweetness I long to kiss your lips. In the shadows of passion I long for your love.” ~ Rumi

“The only currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you’re uncool.” ~ Philip Seymour Hoffman in Almost Famous

Notes on Sex and the Energetic Body

My colleague, Sydney Francis, and I are working on a large project regarding sexuality and our connection to our bodies, one another and the planet. Sydney posted some of her ideas this morning on the underlying themes to our work. Here are a few:

  • Our medium for all experience is physical.
  • The body is innocent. (this is not a Christian or Catholic belief; rather this a belief I have learned and chosen from studying the Lakota Medicine Wheel with with Reverend Rosalyn Bruyere.)
  • The body is sacred.

opening © holly troy 2013To see more, visit her post Our Medium for All Experience is Physical

We are beginning to build a “body” of work, through study and experience, and ritual. She writes on the first chakra and responsibility to community:

We are connected more deeply and profoundly than we realize (see quantum physics).  In our culture, we have become caught up in an illusion of our own isolation.  In many cases we have forgotten to connect with one another, rely on one another, and help one another.

The first chakra is about our survival, our connection to the earth, our libido, and our connection to our tribe, including but not limited to our children, our parents, grandparents, ancestors, and those who we chose to connect with.  Our survival depends on the earth and our connection to one another—connecting to those in our “tribe”.  Through the first chakra, we have an opportunity to come together in comm-unity in a very physical way.

More on the first chakra and our connection to tribe and planet in her article: What can we learn from the first chakra & what does it mean in terms of our social responsibility?

I feel very lucky to be working with Sydney, and am incredibly excited about our partnership with this work! So much more to come – and very in depth.

Reflections on – Going Deep, Sojourn at the Underworld

2013.11.11

Reflections on Going Deep, Sojourn at the Underworld

What would life be like if we were to thrive, rather than just survive? That is the question Sydney Francis and I have been asking ourselves. Many of us have moments of bliss, but what if you really were to follow your bliss as a way of being in life? Could Joseph Campbell be right?

Follow your bliss.
If you do follow your bliss,
you put yourself on a kind of track
that has been there all the while waiting for you,
and the life you ought to be living
is the one you are living.
When you can see that,
you begin to meet people
who are in the field of your bliss,
and they open the doors to you.
I say, follow your bliss and don’t be afraid,
and doors will open
where you didn’t know they were going to be.
If you follow your bliss,
doors will open for you that wouldn’t have opened for anyone else.

Transforming an ordinary backyard into a labirynth

Transforming an ordinary backyard into a labirynth

On November 3rd, Sydney and I led a ritual celebration that used the timing of the cross-quarter holiday, Samhain, combined with the Scorpio New Moon Solar Eclipse to release what we no longer need and to bring in what we want into our lives. On top of that, Saturn is beginning a new 29-year cycle, so we connected to that energy as well.

In Sydney’s reflection she wrote,

For the sake of our ritual, I see several energies coming together: the cross-quarter day of Samhain (mid-point of Scorpio, and a shifting point within the season of Fall), a new moon in Scorpio, sun in Scorpio, an eclipse—the sun crossing the ecliptic, a gathering of intention by Holly and myself and the participants, the literal and symbolic aspects of the labyrinth, our collective 1st chakra energies/our bodies forming a tribe, and the fire.  In essence the energies are time, space, the people and the healing intention creating an extra-energy that is larger or outside of our common experience.  This larger energy, extra-ordinary time-space, gave us an opportunity to gather something outside of our normal experience or larger than our normal experience, such that we could experience a paradigm shift.  In addition, with the timing (in Scorpio) and our intent (3 goals about the 1st chakra), as well as the physical labyrinth tool, we were really seeking and creating a paradigm shift in the body (the somatic experience), as well as within in the emotions, mind, body and spirit.  To me this is the essence of a transformative experience, or rather the moment of initiation of a transformative process.

brokenThe timing and the ritual were key. Building up to the ceremony, I found myself have many first-chakra “survival” experiences. For example, I broke my pinky. That turned into a seeming avalanche of events. I am a part-time temp at the university (part-time temp status is the university’s way of employing people full-time for about half a year without giving them benefits), so I have no health insurance. I first went to two clinics in town who wouldn’t see me unless I forked over two-hundred bucks up front (before x-rays). I didn’t have the cash. Finally, I went to the emergency room, knowing that I wouldn’t be turned away for not having the money. The week before breaking my pinky I applied for ACCHS (like Medicaid in the state of Arizona). The day after going to the hospital, I sat in the Department of Economic Security for three hours only to be told that I can’t get ACCHS because I am not pregnant nor do I have children – but – if I got a letter from my employer explaining my part-time temp status I might be eligible for food stamps. I caught a cold. I was feeling stressed. This is a fraction of what was going on – if I went into detail it would be an entire post . . .

As Halloween approached, and our ritual, the energy started swirling like it was Christmas. I wanted to have a good time for Halloween, and I had much needed fun getting dressed up as a Nature Nymph and going to see the Meat Puppets. (They were so good!!!) We danced and laughed and celebrated for hours! It was refreshing. However, turns out dancing on a concrete floor that is at an angle isn’t the best thing for my knees. Next day – my knees hurt!!  More first chakra stuff.

No time for aches and pains! It was time to focus on the Sojourn to the Underworld. We were really going for a deep in-the-moment somatic experience, feeling our physicality in the moment, going to the center of the labyrinth, and making space for soul work. We wanted to release contradictory messages about owning our power, connecting with our tribe, setting intentions and releasing the outcome. Working with Scorpionic energy and labyrinth, I expected our ritual to be somber, but instead, it was incredibly joyful! We decided to add a chant that would build the energy of the first chakra “right to be” alive on this planet – and that made all the difference! We were singing and dancing, and when I was walking through the labyrinth, my heart felt so open and yet I felt connected with my feet. I was laughing on my way deep in, and singing on my way out.

Then I let go and let go and let go. And placed so many intentions, too. And I am trusting that my intentions will come to fruition. And I trust that this work I am embarking on with Sydney is going to unfold beautifully (it has already begun).

I could barely focus for the rest of the week. I was tired –not getting enough sleep, working, but bored out of my mind. Much integration going on. Finally, on Friday, I got to connect with Sydney and it felt like the most sane thing I could have done all week. We are beginning to see that the project we are embarking on is bigger than we thought. Sydney and I both realize that though we are educated, we don’t “fit in” (and frankly, never have), and that the work we are doing is finding a way to carve out a place for ourselves, and for anyone who is feeling disempowered by the current paradigm of our civilization.

Some of our big questions are, “Where do we find our power in this society without losing our humanity, creativity, sexual energy, time for love, personal relationships and nature? How do we heal trauma so that we may experience our lives fully in the moment? How do we survive financially without trading over or losing our power?”

campfire (c) holly troyNow I am feeling happy and energized to get back to work on our writing. I spent the weekend in the wilderness with my partner where we enjoyed one another and the world around us. I felt safe and relaxed, and finally caught up on sleep! And I breathed fresh air, and sat by a fire, and spent prolonged periods in the moment – marveling at the beauty of the stars, at the sound of water and birds and grasshoppers, and at the love and appreciation of another human being.

Rooting in the First Chakra

Intense Scorpionic energy is the vibration of the month/season.

Event: Going Deep ~ Sojourn at the Underworld
When: Sunday, November 3rd, 2013 – 4:00 pm to 8:00 pm
Where: Flagstaff, AZ (email me for directions at sacredfolly@gmail.com or visit the Going Deep Event and rsvp)

This is the first live event I’ve done in over a year.

Sydney Francis and I are embarking on a vast project for releasing shame from our physical and bliss bodies, and inviting joy, love, and full-bodied empowerment into our lives. We are beginning this endeavor with a ritual that is a practice in deeply grounding our right to be safe, loved, happy, blissful, and comfortable with our sexuality, creativity, intellect, love . . . basically it’s a celebration for the essence of what makes us each unique as well as part of the larger consciousness.

labyrinthThis cross-quarter cycle is a powerful time for acknowledging and celebrating the shadow side of ourselves as full-sensory, physical, bliss-filled beings. With the added dynamic of the new moon eclipsing the sun in Scorpio, the mood is to go deep. As we move from harvest to darkness, we pay attention to what we really need in order to have light and to thrive, and we shed what is no longer useful for our survival, the survival of our communities, our sexual vitality, and our basic connection to one another.

We are approaching an auspicious time for releasing what we no longer need in our lives and for setting intentions and bringing in the energy for what we do need. We are at Samhain, one of the  cross-quarter holidays that acknowledges the cycle of the earth around the sun. It is also the time when it is believed that the “veil between the worlds” is thinnest, so our connection to the spirit world is very strong right now. Also, November 3rd is a New (Dark) Moon in Scorpio (the new moon is an excellent time for making new intentions) eclipsing the Sun in Scorpio* (we will see things in a new light).

Sojourn at the Underworld is an experiential ceremony where participants will:

  • be led through a guided mediation that will awaken the mind-body connection;
  • guided along a physical passage for releasing what is longer needed for this transitional time of the year and of our lives;
  • learn techniques for grounding, being in the moment, for releasing emotional residue, and for setting intentions;
  • explore the energies for this earth cycle;
  • ground our “right to be” who we are as unique and communal beings on this planet;
  • will practice and learn techniques for drawing in what we want to have in our lives;
  • integrate the experience;
  • share community and feast with the spirits!

duck weedThis event will be happening both indoors and outdoors – so bring warm clothing! Also, a blanket, yoga mat, or something comfortable to sit on is recommended.

Please also bring food and/or drink for feasting after the ceremony.

Cost:  $30.00, for students $20.00

Feel free to comment or email me directly at sacredfolly@gmail.com for more info.

*To find out more about the intense astrological energies that are happening this week, check out Anne Ortelee’s Weekly Weather podcast.

Between the two of us, Sydney Francis and I have over forty years of experience working with earth energy spirituality and mind-body healing. Individually, we bring our knowledge of yoga, meditation, mystery schools, art, creativity and compassion to our practice.

Blessings.

Om shanti, shanti, shanti.

EVENT: Going Deep ~ Sojourn at the Underworld

Intense Scorpionic energy is the vibration of the month/season.

Event: Going Deep ~ Sojourn at the Underworld
When: Sunday, November 3rd, 2013 – 4:00 pm to 8:00 pm
Where: Flagstaff, AZ (email me for directions at sacredfolly@gmail.com or visit the Going Deep Event and rsvp)

Sydney Francis and I are embarking on a vast project for releasing shame from our physical and bliss bodies, and inviting joy, love, and full-bodied empowerment into our lives. We are beginning this endeavor with a ritual that is a practice in deeply grounding our right to be safe, loved, happy, blissful, and comfortable with our sexuality, creativity, intellect, love . . . basically it’s a celebration for the essence of what makes us each unique as well as part of the larger consciousness.

labyrinthThis cross-quarter cycle is a powerful time for acknowledging and celebrating the shadow side of ourselves as full-sensory, physical, bliss-filled beings. With the added dynamic of the new moon eclipsing the sun in Scorpio, the mood is to go deep. As we move from harvest to darkness, we pay attention to what we really need in order to have light and to thrive, and we shed what is no longer useful for our survival, the survival of our communities, our sexual vitality, and our basic connection to one another.

We are approaching an auspicious time for releasing what we no longer need in our lives and for setting intentions and bringing in the energy for what we do need. We are at Samhain, one of the  cross-quarter holidays that acknowledges the cycle of the earth around the sun. It is also the time when it is believed that the “veil between the worlds” is thinnest, so our connection to the spirit world is very strong right now. Also, November 3rd is a New (Dark) Moon in Scorpio (the new moon is an excellent time for making new intentions) eclipsing the Sun in Scorpio* (we will see things in a new light).

Sojourn at the Underworld is an experiential ceremony where participants will:

  • be led through a guided mediation that will awaken the mind-body connection;
  • guided along a physical passage for releasing what is longer needed for this transitional time of the year and of our lives;
  • learn techniques for grounding, being in the moment, for releasing emotional residue, and for setting intentions;
  • explore the energies for this earth cycle;
  • ground our “right to be” who we are as unique and communal beings on this planet;
  • will practice and learn techniques for drawing in what we want to have in our lives;
  • integrate the experience;
  • share community and feast with the spirits!

duck weedThis event will be happening both indoors and outdoors – so bring warm clothing! Also, a blanket, yoga mat, or something comfortable to sit on is recommended.

Please also bring food and/or drink for feasting after the ceremony.

Cost:  $30.00, for students $20.00

Feel free to comment or email me directly at sacredfolly@gmail.com for more info.

*To find out more about the intense astrological energies that are happening this week, check out Anne Ortelee’s Weekly Weather podcast.

Between the two of us, Sydney Francis and I have over forty years of experience working with earth energy spirituality and mind-body healing. Individually, we bring our knowledge of yoga, meditation, mystery schools, art, creativity and compassion to our practice.

Blessings.

Om shanti, shanti, shanti.