Donuts, Aquarius, and The Shadow – Dancing with the Echoes of Eternity

Grief and the shadow have been staring me down. I’m seeing patterns, and more and more, time feels less linear to me, spherical, maybe even donut-shaped.

Addiction, alienation, secrets, power, sexuality, envy, fear – the stuff we keep hidden – I’ve been circling around the subjects and diving through. I feel like I’ve been breaking past human darkness and into something more brilliant and magnificent, something that reverberates beyond my body, beyond space, and beyond time.

Jung saw the shadow as “the seat of creativity.” What if we looked at the shadow differently? What if we if we looked at the shadow as the hidden part of ourselves that is the cosmic hyper-dimensional being that is who we are in eternity – and – what if we take that part of ourselves and integrate it into our consciousness? Shadow as the Infinite Self, rather than the lowest aspect of our being. Or, if we look at the polarity of the shadow – the lowest part must also includes the highest part.

Check out Mama Maga’s video below. She is right in synch with how I’ve been thinking about the shadow and about time lately. She’s discusses the Aquarian view of the Shadow. Our perception of reality can open or close doors to how we view and experience our lives.

Mama Maga asks, “Is the great aspect of you your shadow?” and, “How is the energy in your nervous system transforming?”

The collage below is from Tribal Donut, Issue 1, 1991, page 9 – San Francisco. I view it as incredibly Scorpionic, a way of looking at the shadow as self through creative play. The collage artist was a friend of mine at the time – Jason Keehn (a.k.a. Cinnamon Twist). The creative play I experienced in the 90s was exquisite, and I feel as if those creative doors are opening again. I feel this beautiful (and sometimes scary) part of my past is echoing into my future . . .

tribal donut page 9_cinnamon twist_shadow

Excerpt from Tribal Donut (pages 5 and 6):

Tribal Donut—somewhere between dolphin pod, sufi halka, magikal circle . . . without gurus or masters, or rather, where anyone  & anything can be a source of revelation; where each of us is both student and teacher to each other at different times; where the formal intitiatic hierarchy is dissolved into a movement of learning from one another and from life.

No program, no predefined goal, no rules: call it a kind of experiment in kaos magick.

A signal in the cracks of your so-called waking world, a blip of that way rad akashic musick-video you glimpsed yourself in your wildest, most luminescent luminous dreams . . .

A psychick postcard from the city on the edge of forever, beamed out on the pulse of Love to tomorrow’s friends . . .

Simple premise: Nobody is going to create your utopia for you. (Sidestepping here the aspect of Utopia as dead perfection). Do It Yourself. It may be small, it may be fragmentary, it may be evanescent, and the going may not be very easy, but what else is there to do? What are we here for anyway?

Finished listing excuses for why things are they way they are. after all the obstacles and inertia and “forces of oppression,” there remains a fundamental openness waiting to find channels through which it can remake itself/be remade . . . Count up the untold horrors and pains and ugliness wrought by domesticated primates on each other & their world; try to change it: struggle yes—but do you really know what you are up against, & just how deep it runs? . . .Maybe to truly take responsibility for your own life—as opposed to taking on the weight of the world when you can’t even clean up after your own mess, ‘internal’ or ‘external’—is to see that there’s really nothing preset: so assume your freedom, and out AND PLAY.

And why not create something as radically different as possible from all the dismal and abusive routines of civilization while you are at it . . .??

Sun in Scorpio – Second Chakra Sunshine

Hello!

The Sun is in Scorpio now, and things can get really intense. Scorpio is known as a deeply sexual and psychological sign – so our physical, emotional, and mental energies may be building up at this time around the second chakra. With the Sun shining on Scorpio, our shadow side gets lit up. What “hidden” aspects of yourself are beginning to surface?

My friend and reiki teacher, Geordie Numata says this about the current vibrations of  Sun in Scorpio:

With the Sun in Scorpio, we want to get down to the bottom of things, even if it means dragging old rotting skeletons out of the closet. Our Scorpio passion wants to go all the way and isn’t afraid to do whatever it takes to get there. Scorpio is the most masculine of the feminine water signs because it’s passion is hot and it wants to penetrate into the depths of the mysteries (before Pluto was discovered, Mars was assigned to Scorpio). It’s a time when we can get insights into stuff that has stumped us in the the past, but most importantly, It’s a time of regeneration when can let go of the old so we rebirth ourselves into the new. Yes, it’s time to clean up our act now so lets discard everything that no longer serves. Let’s purify and simplify so can fly free into the rarefied ethers of philosophical contemplation when the Sun enters Sagittarius and then plunge into the depths of meditation after the Winter Solstice when the Sun enters Capricorn.

We have so much more freedom now since the massive Blood Moon Total Eclipse purge in September. It’s time to move forward!

Death of the Sunflowers (c) 2015 Holly TroyScorpio is also the time when things die in the Northern Hemisphere. Death can be literal, or it can be a letting go. What do you need to let go of in order to move forward in your life?

If your energy is feeling stuck, why not get it moving with the gentle exercise in the video below? If your lower back feels tight, this is a good stretch. If you just need calming, it’s soothing physically and mentally.

I made this video a few years ago for one of my original Writing the Energetic Body online workshops.

By the way, I’ll be releasing an entirely new online course format in early 2016 – stay tuned!

Thanks for reading,

Holly

Discovering – “The Magic of Asking”

I came across The Magic of Asking – by Truth Warrior. It is timely as we are coming to a New Moon Solar Eclipse on the North Node in Scorpio (check out Anne Ortelee’s Weekly Weather Pocast for the week of October 19th) – a truly magical time for asking and setting intentions.

Most of us want to improve some area of our lives, however at times this can be easier said than done. They say that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. This is very true. Another definition could also be asking the same questions over and over again and expecting a different result.  I was reflecting to myself the other day, on the importance of asking ourselves the right questions.

Truth Warrior has positive suggestion and helpful ideas. To check out the rest of the article and get suggestions on asking effective questions, go here . . . 

Aspen on the Schultz Creek Trail (c) 2014 Holly TroyHave a great day!

Om shanti ~

Holly

Born on a Thursday # 49 – Harshly Expressed

I have had a really awful past few weeks. My entire world has been rocked – and one swift action out of rage a few days ago really flipped everything upside down. Not usually my style.

It’s painful.

At the same time, I’ve gained a lot of clarity in these last few days. Some of my blind spots have been revealed. I have a new understanding of some of my triggers, what I deserve, and how I need to express myself and my needs – especially in intimate relationships – going forward.

Really deeply sad and regretful to have lost a friend in the process.

And then I read this from astrologer Anne Ortelee’s Weekly Weather for today:

Jupiter’s Day Thursday February 27, 2014  Moon in Aquarius goes void trine to Mars so we have another productive day if we can hold the center and not be distracted by all that is flowing and flying around our ears. Especially the craziness zooming around in the world! Aren’t you glad you know about Astrology? Juno and Eris collaborate, spreading discord, disdain and difficulty to one and all.  Watch for Envy issues in partnerships. Ceres stations on 1 Scorpio and amplifies the energy of endings, stuck, darkness and chaos…  Ceres in early Scorpio amplifies the killing nature of Ceres… she IS the angry dark deadly feminine in her current placement of Scorpio in Scorpio’s decant.  Ceres goes retrograde until June 1 and invites us to reevaluate how we nurture and take care of ourselves and others. Time to change that care taking energy! You may find you need to rage, vent or shake your fist at the sky. Check in on the depressed folks you know as this week is a great one for suicides. Try to allow the passions, angers, rebellions, inspirations, integrations to rise up from deep within. They aren’t going to take you over but they do need to be expressed. Pallas has a series of aspects today that help you see things you never noticed before because, frankly, you weren’t ready to see them earlier but now you are.  So look!  Notice the patterns and how they repeat themselves. No being hard on yourself either. You are where you are. You did the best you could with the information you had and the situations you were prepared for and ready to see.  So now you know more.  Now you are wiser. You would handle it differently next time after what you learned THIS time. So know that you are wiser and smarter.  Life is all about growth.  And handing the slide, managing the decline… Inspired ideas take place mid-day as Moon and Mercury connect. Health matters can take a turn for the worse so go promptly to the doctor in the event of a sudden change. Watch out for hot water blasts! You can have a sudden blast of anger or sadness tonight.  Ceres stationing in Scorpio is like that!

preparing (c) 2014 Holly TroyI’ve got four planets in Scorpio. Irritated. Stressed.

Of course, whether you believe in astrology or not, you still have free will. Choose compassion. Choose love.

If you get mad at someone – try to be kind. Or wait a few days to see if you can calm down. Take a walk, shower, bath, run, do yoga. Swim.

Life is short. Don’t be mean. Be kind. And if you are really sorry, say so.

Namaste,

Holly

Reflections on – Going Deep, Sojourn at the Underworld

2013.11.11

Reflections on Going Deep, Sojourn at the Underworld

What would life be like if we were to thrive, rather than just survive? That is the question Sydney Francis and I have been asking ourselves. Many of us have moments of bliss, but what if you really were to follow your bliss as a way of being in life? Could Joseph Campbell be right?

Follow your bliss.
If you do follow your bliss,
you put yourself on a kind of track
that has been there all the while waiting for you,
and the life you ought to be living
is the one you are living.
When you can see that,
you begin to meet people
who are in the field of your bliss,
and they open the doors to you.
I say, follow your bliss and don’t be afraid,
and doors will open
where you didn’t know they were going to be.
If you follow your bliss,
doors will open for you that wouldn’t have opened for anyone else.

Transforming an ordinary backyard into a labirynth
Transforming an ordinary backyard into a labirynth

On November 3rd, Sydney and I led a ritual celebration that used the timing of the cross-quarter holiday, Samhain, combined with the Scorpio New Moon Solar Eclipse to release what we no longer need and to bring in what we want into our lives. On top of that, Saturn is beginning a new 29-year cycle, so we connected to that energy as well.

In Sydney’s reflection she wrote,

For the sake of our ritual, I see several energies coming together: the cross-quarter day of Samhain (mid-point of Scorpio, and a shifting point within the season of Fall), a new moon in Scorpio, sun in Scorpio, an eclipse—the sun crossing the ecliptic, a gathering of intention by Holly and myself and the participants, the literal and symbolic aspects of the labyrinth, our collective 1st chakra energies/our bodies forming a tribe, and the fire.  In essence the energies are time, space, the people and the healing intention creating an extra-energy that is larger or outside of our common experience.  This larger energy, extra-ordinary time-space, gave us an opportunity to gather something outside of our normal experience or larger than our normal experience, such that we could experience a paradigm shift.  In addition, with the timing (in Scorpio) and our intent (3 goals about the 1st chakra), as well as the physical labyrinth tool, we were really seeking and creating a paradigm shift in the body (the somatic experience), as well as within in the emotions, mind, body and spirit.  To me this is the essence of a transformative experience, or rather the moment of initiation of a transformative process.

brokenThe timing and the ritual were key. Building up to the ceremony, I found myself have many first-chakra “survival” experiences. For example, I broke my pinky. That turned into a seeming avalanche of events. I am a part-time temp at the university (part-time temp status is the university’s way of employing people full-time for about half a year without giving them benefits), so I have no health insurance. I first went to two clinics in town who wouldn’t see me unless I forked over two-hundred bucks up front (before x-rays). I didn’t have the cash. Finally, I went to the emergency room, knowing that I wouldn’t be turned away for not having the money. The week before breaking my pinky I applied for ACCHS (like Medicaid in the state of Arizona). The day after going to the hospital, I sat in the Department of Economic Security for three hours only to be told that I can’t get ACCHS because I am not pregnant nor do I have children – but – if I got a letter from my employer explaining my part-time temp status I might be eligible for food stamps. I caught a cold. I was feeling stressed. This is a fraction of what was going on – if I went into detail it would be an entire post . . .

As Halloween approached, and our ritual, the energy started swirling like it was Christmas. I wanted to have a good time for Halloween, and I had much needed fun getting dressed up as a Nature Nymph and going to see the Meat Puppets. (They were so good!!!) We danced and laughed and celebrated for hours! It was refreshing. However, turns out dancing on a concrete floor that is at an angle isn’t the best thing for my knees. Next day – my knees hurt!!  More first chakra stuff.

No time for aches and pains! It was time to focus on the Sojourn to the Underworld. We were really going for a deep in-the-moment somatic experience, feeling our physicality in the moment, going to the center of the labyrinth, and making space for soul work. We wanted to release contradictory messages about owning our power, connecting with our tribe, setting intentions and releasing the outcome. Working with Scorpionic energy and labyrinth, I expected our ritual to be somber, but instead, it was incredibly joyful! We decided to add a chant that would build the energy of the first chakra “right to be” alive on this planet – and that made all the difference! We were singing and dancing, and when I was walking through the labyrinth, my heart felt so open and yet I felt connected with my feet. I was laughing on my way deep in, and singing on my way out.

Then I let go and let go and let go. And placed so many intentions, too. And I am trusting that my intentions will come to fruition. And I trust that this work I am embarking on with Sydney is going to unfold beautifully (it has already begun).

I could barely focus for the rest of the week. I was tired –not getting enough sleep, working, but bored out of my mind. Much integration going on. Finally, on Friday, I got to connect with Sydney and it felt like the most sane thing I could have done all week. We are beginning to see that the project we are embarking on is bigger than we thought. Sydney and I both realize that though we are educated, we don’t “fit in” (and frankly, never have), and that the work we are doing is finding a way to carve out a place for ourselves, and for anyone who is feeling disempowered by the current paradigm of our civilization.

Some of our big questions are, “Where do we find our power in this society without losing our humanity, creativity, sexual energy, time for love, personal relationships and nature? How do we heal trauma so that we may experience our lives fully in the moment? How do we survive financially without trading over or losing our power?”

campfire (c) holly troyNow I am feeling happy and energized to get back to work on our writing. I spent the weekend in the wilderness with my partner where we enjoyed one another and the world around us. I felt safe and relaxed, and finally caught up on sleep! And I breathed fresh air, and sat by a fire, and spent prolonged periods in the moment – marveling at the beauty of the stars, at the sound of water and birds and grasshoppers, and at the love and appreciation of another human being.

Rooting in the First Chakra

Intense Scorpionic energy is the vibration of the month/season.

Event: Going Deep ~ Sojourn at the Underworld
When: Sunday, November 3rd, 2013 – 4:00 pm to 8:00 pm
Where: Flagstaff, AZ (email me for directions at sacredfolly@gmail.com or visit the Going Deep Event and rsvp)

This is the first live event I’ve done in over a year.

Sydney Francis and I are embarking on a vast project for releasing shame from our physical and bliss bodies, and inviting joy, love, and full-bodied empowerment into our lives. We are beginning this endeavor with a ritual that is a practice in deeply grounding our right to be safe, loved, happy, blissful, and comfortable with our sexuality, creativity, intellect, love . . . basically it’s a celebration for the essence of what makes us each unique as well as part of the larger consciousness.

labyrinthThis cross-quarter cycle is a powerful time for acknowledging and celebrating the shadow side of ourselves as full-sensory, physical, bliss-filled beings. With the added dynamic of the new moon eclipsing the sun in Scorpio, the mood is to go deep. As we move from harvest to darkness, we pay attention to what we really need in order to have light and to thrive, and we shed what is no longer useful for our survival, the survival of our communities, our sexual vitality, and our basic connection to one another.

We are approaching an auspicious time for releasing what we no longer need in our lives and for setting intentions and bringing in the energy for what we do need. We are at Samhain, one of the  cross-quarter holidays that acknowledges the cycle of the earth around the sun. It is also the time when it is believed that the “veil between the worlds” is thinnest, so our connection to the spirit world is very strong right now. Also, November 3rd is a New (Dark) Moon in Scorpio (the new moon is an excellent time for making new intentions) eclipsing the Sun in Scorpio* (we will see things in a new light).

Sojourn at the Underworld is an experiential ceremony where participants will:

  • be led through a guided mediation that will awaken the mind-body connection;
  • guided along a physical passage for releasing what is longer needed for this transitional time of the year and of our lives;
  • learn techniques for grounding, being in the moment, for releasing emotional residue, and for setting intentions;
  • explore the energies for this earth cycle;
  • ground our “right to be” who we are as unique and communal beings on this planet;
  • will practice and learn techniques for drawing in what we want to have in our lives;
  • integrate the experience;
  • share community and feast with the spirits!

duck weedThis event will be happening both indoors and outdoors – so bring warm clothing! Also, a blanket, yoga mat, or something comfortable to sit on is recommended.

Please also bring food and/or drink for feasting after the ceremony.

Cost:  $30.00, for students $20.00

Feel free to comment or email me directly at sacredfolly@gmail.com for more info.

*To find out more about the intense astrological energies that are happening this week, check out Anne Ortelee’s Weekly Weather podcast.

Between the two of us, Sydney Francis and I have over forty years of experience working with earth energy spirituality and mind-body healing. Individually, we bring our knowledge of yoga, meditation, mystery schools, art, creativity and compassion to our practice.

Blessings.

Om shanti, shanti, shanti.

EVENT: Going Deep ~ Sojourn at the Underworld

Intense Scorpionic energy is the vibration of the month/season.

Event: Going Deep ~ Sojourn at the Underworld
When: Sunday, November 3rd, 2013 – 4:00 pm to 8:00 pm
Where: Flagstaff, AZ (email me for directions at sacredfolly@gmail.com or visit the Going Deep Event and rsvp)

Sydney Francis and I are embarking on a vast project for releasing shame from our physical and bliss bodies, and inviting joy, love, and full-bodied empowerment into our lives. We are beginning this endeavor with a ritual that is a practice in deeply grounding our right to be safe, loved, happy, blissful, and comfortable with our sexuality, creativity, intellect, love . . . basically it’s a celebration for the essence of what makes us each unique as well as part of the larger consciousness.

labyrinthThis cross-quarter cycle is a powerful time for acknowledging and celebrating the shadow side of ourselves as full-sensory, physical, bliss-filled beings. With the added dynamic of the new moon eclipsing the sun in Scorpio, the mood is to go deep. As we move from harvest to darkness, we pay attention to what we really need in order to have light and to thrive, and we shed what is no longer useful for our survival, the survival of our communities, our sexual vitality, and our basic connection to one another.

We are approaching an auspicious time for releasing what we no longer need in our lives and for setting intentions and bringing in the energy for what we do need. We are at Samhain, one of the  cross-quarter holidays that acknowledges the cycle of the earth around the sun. It is also the time when it is believed that the “veil between the worlds” is thinnest, so our connection to the spirit world is very strong right now. Also, November 3rd is a New (Dark) Moon in Scorpio (the new moon is an excellent time for making new intentions) eclipsing the Sun in Scorpio* (we will see things in a new light).

Sojourn at the Underworld is an experiential ceremony where participants will:

  • be led through a guided mediation that will awaken the mind-body connection;
  • guided along a physical passage for releasing what is longer needed for this transitional time of the year and of our lives;
  • learn techniques for grounding, being in the moment, for releasing emotional residue, and for setting intentions;
  • explore the energies for this earth cycle;
  • ground our “right to be” who we are as unique and communal beings on this planet;
  • will practice and learn techniques for drawing in what we want to have in our lives;
  • integrate the experience;
  • share community and feast with the spirits!

duck weedThis event will be happening both indoors and outdoors – so bring warm clothing! Also, a blanket, yoga mat, or something comfortable to sit on is recommended.

Please also bring food and/or drink for feasting after the ceremony.

Cost:  $30.00, for students $20.00

Feel free to comment or email me directly at sacredfolly@gmail.com for more info.

*To find out more about the intense astrological energies that are happening this week, check out Anne Ortelee’s Weekly Weather podcast.

Between the two of us, Sydney Francis and I have over forty years of experience working with earth energy spirituality and mind-body healing. Individually, we bring our knowledge of yoga, meditation, mystery schools, art, creativity and compassion to our practice.

Blessings.

Om shanti, shanti, shanti.

What is Scorpio Pushing you to Release?

My friend Robert Alvarez wrote a post about Scorpio. In it he asks the following questions, which are perfect for this time of year:

1.  How are you complicating your life?

2.  Where are you adding unholy madness and unnecessary chaos into your life, your relationships, your world?

3. To what or to whom are you holding on that is no longer serving your needs, and probably killing you, slowly but surely?

4. How do you feel about life?  In other words, how do you really feel about life?

5. How do you feel about your life?  In other words, how do you really feel about your life?

6. Who and what are you allowing to dominate you, manipulate you, directly or indirectly, that is preventing you from receiving Blessings, Gifts and Miracles (the answer might very well surprise you)?

7. What are the obstacles that you have had for years?

8. Why do you think you have had the same obstacles for years?

sunflowerCan you honestly answer these questions and then make a commitment to letting go of the things that hinder your life’s potential? Can you see how at one point the answers to the questions may have served you well – but now that you have grown and evolved they no longer serve you?

Visit Robert’s post – Zodiakos: Scorpio

Divine Inspiration and Goddess of Astrology, Patrice Kamins

My friend Patrice Kamins, Meta-Astrologer, made this video called “What is Astrology?” It’s cosmic, psychedelic, and down-to-earth all at once. This Cap Sun with a Sag Rising and Scorpio Moon loves it! 

Patrice’s reading for January begins:

We can all get on with our lives in an adult fashion now that the disaster or esctasy fetish of 2012 has passed.  On day one of 2013, we hear news of how the New Year will unfold when Mercury travels on the World Axis at 0 Capricorn.  He joins the Sun who is already firmly esconced in the sign of maturity, materialization, mastery . . .

Read the rest on BellaLife.

imgresPatrice also has a site where you can find out more about her, her work, see more videos, and check out more of her writing!

Enjoy!