108 Days of American Sentence ~ Day 13

Shift to gratitude: relief/redemption/restoration/hope/blessings.



Born on a Thursday #25 ~ Home Sweet Home

Red in Clouds on the Mesa (c) HollyTroy 2013I’m glad to be home.

I’ve only been back for about a day, and I’m feeling myself settle, my body just relaxing into the earthiness of my surroundings. I want to run and hug everyone I know here, and at the same time am grateful to have this evening to myself.

Right now I’m eating a big salad and I had a long day at work and I took Stoney for a walk and had a long hot bath. Even work was soothing and grounding. It was good to see co-workers, and I saw my friend Stacy, too – who I can’t wait to catch up with.

My adopted family is here.

twilight sunflowers (c) Holly Troy 2013The beauty of this place astounds me everyday. Of course, during my walk with the dog, I took photos. Sunset tonight had a tinge of Autumn in it. I can feel it coming. I smelled it for a brief moment.

Autumn is a good time for hugging and cuddling up. And hiking. I intend to get hiking and much hugging in this weekend — two of my favorite activities!

I am happy!

What does home feel like for you?

Thanks for reading.

self-portrait in NY light (c) Holly Troy 2013Catch up with you soon!

Om shanti ~ Holly

Born on a Thursday #20 – Sleepy!

I glad I named this “Born on a Thursday” because I’m glad I was born. I like being alive. I like the cool adventures and people I get to experience.

A lot has happened this week – some great (summer here is so perfect), some pretty fucking crappy (family stuff, ugh) – and I am doing the best I can and am feeling good. I am grateful for friends and years of some kind of meditation practice, and working off excess energy by walking and biking outside every day.

road in flagstaffI walked downtown tonight, just as the sun was in its last stages of setting. Happy Solstice!

I wanted to write in public, longhand, for my Thursday post. So I wrote, and when I got home, rather than going into my room and typing what I wrote from my little book, it was more fun and important for me to hang out and talk with my roommate. Now I’m too tired to write out my whole post – but perhaps I will continue tomorrow!

Born on a Thursday #19: Sunset Strolling

IMG_3402I am happier than I have been in a really long time. I’m having a good balance between seeing friends and spending time alone. I’m walking or cycling everyday up and down some pretty steep hills, spending as much time as possible outside, and marveling at the beauty of this place.

I keep coming across surprises – like this yarn bomb tonight. IMG_3403It looks like a southwestern sunset. And behind it, reflecting in the window – actually is the sunset.

I love this beauty so much! The wonderful thing is that so much of it is tangible, you know I had to touch this bit of art. It was warm, having absorbed the sun all day, and contrasted with the cool air on my skin. Heaven!

IMG_3404The sunsets here are different than they are in New York City, the colors here are more subtle, and of course, there is more space to see the sky. I was thinking about how sometimes Francis (my partner, and really, my best friend for much of the 90s) and I would walk to the pier in the summertime on nights we didn’t have band rehearsal or gigs. Francis was good about sharing beauty with me (and culinary delights, spiritual exploration, and, always, music). Of course, to get to the end of the pier, we’d have to walk past hustlers and dustheads and loud, sweaty people all looking for something, some good feeling, some good time — watching the sunset from the pier wasn’t something I could do alone.

Once I got to the water, I had this knack of drowning out the bad disco and the conversations and the catcalls. I could just focus on the sound of the water and the red brilliance of the sunsets. Sometimes I really needed that focus just to reset myself for the week.


I didn’t know I was going to write all of this. I was just going to say – I’m tired, I’m happy, I’m grateful for friends, I’m getting lots of fresh air, I’m not so lonely and life is feeling pretty good these days. (Phoenix was an excruciatingly, painfully, lonely place and chapter in my life – I am grateful for the suspended joy of this summer – a contrast to my time in the valley)!

And with all the dancing I’ve been doing and the music I’ve been listening to lately, I swear I am growing little wings. Don’t know about a halo, but the wings are there . . .

IMG_3354Thanks for reading. Have a gorgeous, bliss-filled week.

Namaste ~


Looking Outside

Oh wow! Today is Thursday! Time for Born on a Thursday #8.

I have been keeping a low profile this week – a lot of changes, a lot of clarity, and a lot to think about. Plus, I’ve been working a lot.

My toe still hurts. I smashed it two weeks ago and haven’t had much time off of my feet since then. it’s not purple anymore, but it’s still swollen.

Beautiful things I’ve seen this week:

Looking up, looking down, and looking out. Allergies are intense, but the sunsets are beautiful.



Sky and Miles

I have been living part-time in Phoenix and part-time in Camp Verde while I look for a good gig in Phoenix. Currently I work at Northern Arizona University in Flagstaff.

I really like my place in Phoenix, and I am enjoying the urban energy, too. I’ve been feeling the need for a faster pace and cultural/social stimulation for quite a while now. When I leave there I miss it.

Today my brain just shut down. I could barely think at all. Still can barely think. I got through today on sheer willpower.

I went to Dara Thai for lunch and there was a group of about 10 senior citizens sitting at a table saying things like, “This place isn’t American . . . She kept asking me what kind of meat I want with my noodles, the description doesn’t say anything about meat . . . Why would I want to annoy myself by watching the DNC? . . . Sometimes I think the Lord gets confused, people pray for the sun to shine while some people pray for rain – just too many people praying at the same time . . . Can we have these all on separate checks?”

Afterwards, my brain was still foggy, so I went to Rendezvous for a coffee—one dollar for a really good americano! Sat in the window and thought about all of my Flagstaff friends and how I haven’t seen any of them in a long while now. I watched an older white couple with set jaws and furrowed brows walking along Aspen. They both wore baggy khaki shorts and high socks. I thought, “What the fuck am I doing here?”

I am glad I had the chance to talk with Naomi – and grateful for the space she has to share. Still, I’m so ready to be with my man and to settle in to my new place. Driving 60 miles one way up a windy mountain freeway to work is getting crazy.

The foggy brain days are scary ones on the road.

The sunsets here are absolutely stunning. Amazing skies. Always a thrill.

Every evening I marvel about where I am. I marvel about my partner and his/our family. This place is so different from where I have spent most of my life.

I also get a thrill when I get mileage like this.

Rainbow at Sunset

And a rainbow appeared before Michelle Obama spoke this evening . . .


Beauty abounds!

photo via cell phone and instagram

Blue Moon Sunset


Blue Moon Sunset

The sky before the drive.

Arizona Sky

Camp Verde sunset.

(c) Holly Troy 2012