As I was cycling home, I realized that there are a lot of people who were pivotal in (saving) my life during that time (the 90s) in New York – and so many of those people who were important to my development as a writer and artist and loving human being, I will never see again. There I was, pedaling slowly up the mesa, into the sunset, with cars flying past me and tears streaming down my face.
I felt awake, and more alive than I have felt in a long while.
I dreamed I was in a band last night. It’s been almost ten years since I’ve been on stage. I miss it a lot. I like group creative projects – I often need something larger than myself to continue, to finish work, and the group is more than “just me”. The dynamic is exhilarating, usually fun, sometimes frustrating – rarely boring. Though I haven’t been making music, I have been in a collaborative project for months now, and it is informing my solitary work in a good way (I’m painting again), and I am waking up with the desire to create almost over all else.
So long Peter Seeger! Thank you for your voice and your heart! I never had much, but I did have music, and music is what kept me going when the world was a cold cold place. I remember literally freezing and starving on the Lower East Side, but the spirit of music kept me going. You believed music could save the world – and it saved mine. I am grateful for your life, Mr. Seeger, bodhisattva, and all those you’ve inspired.
“Application, discipline, focus, repetition . . .” I am entering a phase of this type of focus. I might add that it begins with “desire”. Once the desire is recognized, the rest is a whole lot easier (otherwise it’s can be a spastic go-round and round on the hamster wheel of life).
I’ve been listening to Diamanda for the last few hours while I work. She embraces darkness so fully, and sings of topics our society tends to turn its back on—”her works largely concentrate on the topics of AIDS, mental illness, despair, injustice, condemnation, and loss of dignity.” (wikipedia)
I love how Neil Gaiman partners with Amanda Palmer. They are both willing to be vulnerable – and in public. He is one of my favorite writers (I was sad when American Gods ended – I got so used to the story and the places it took me as i was taking the story in).
holly troy ~ sacred folly 