The Morning – 3-25-10

I woke up this morning perhaps at 4:00 am. Then again at 5:20 am, when my alarm went off. Then, at 5:40, when it rang again. I wasn’t sure if I had slept at all, but I kept waking from dreams, and the 20 minutes between alarms felt like three.

I took a shower and was grateful for heat and hot water. I realized that I am what feels like being on the edge of civilization. I am alone.

I don’t like being cold at all, not even chilly. For some it’s refreshing, for me, it hurts. Just plain deep. Marrow.

I keep thinking I should be able to do this, being alone, after all, I am a yoga teacher and yogis are supposed to spend time alone meditating. I’ve never been good with “shoulds”. I like discipline, so I tell myself it’ll be fun. Embracing loneliness.

I want to ride my bicycle around the country – I’ve been saying this for about a decade now. Things are so weird in the world that this year might just be the time to do it. Watching the water go down the drain – riding will be a long meditation. The idea is one thing; the actuality is another.

Could I stand it?

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I'm a rock-n-roller poet who left the Big Apple for the Big Sky Desert where I've been letting it be and grooving with universal love, singing to the gods, dancing with the muses and bicycling with dreamtime messengers. I like altering my reality through imagination, movement, breath, and makin' stuff.

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