April Fool’s Journey 2020 – The Hanged Man

Prompt for the Hanged Man: How to let go and just BE.

Death and the Six of Swords

I feel that this draw is happening for the entire world at the moment. We are in a time of suspension (Hanged Man) prompted by a pandemic and the realization that our political, financial and medical infrastructures are failing to protect us (Death). Yet, there is a chance for collective renewal if we release the status quo. This is a dark ride that we are on, and it may take some time to get to the other side. Loss, grief, despair, anger, loneliness and fear are part of the collective path right now. There is no room to drag along what is not necessary. We must shed the convictions that keep us believing in a world of “other”, of “alien” of “separateness”, and help one another cross the depths to experience our revival (6th of Swords).

Death and the Six of Swords both portend a journey that requires complete metamorphosis.

Death says, “You have no choice in the matter.” No amount of kicking and screaming will change the inevitable. It is time to remove your masks, leave behind behavior, attitudes, things and situations that no longer serve your highest good.  You must surrender to the dark night of not-knowing. The descent to the underworld is where you face yourself, to shed the old, to see your ghosts for what they are and release them.

Emerge transformed like the rose. It was once a seed underground, but is now a beautiful flower beckoning for anyone who passes by to slow down and breathe in it’s beauty. The walk with death results in new life.

Combined with Death, the Six of Swords is the crossing of the waters out of Hades.

As you move forward, turbulent tides become calm. Release any lingering thoughts or doubts that block you from seeing the abundant land (life) ahead. Use this passage for integrating your new sense of self. This is the final stretch. You have helpers waiting to guide you to the distant shore.

How Things are Hanging

I left the Fool’s Journey hanging at The Hanged Man, though not intentionally. This week has been deeply transformative for me (and I suspect for everyone). With the New Moon in Taurus on Earth Day, it was (is) a fertile time to make intentions around our self-worth and what we value. Uranus joins the party – whatever seeds we are planting right now may have completely unexpected outcomes. Time to embrace not-knowing. Pluto retrograding in Capricorn is rumbling deep beneath the surface — cracks in the structures that are built on manipulation, fear and hype cannot be fixed now, they must be torn down to be rebuilt and based on something new (I would suggest authenticity, love, and sincerity).

Being creative during this time of pandemic has challenges and gifts. Sometimes it is too painful to sing, or even think. There certainly has been a shaking off of doubt that releasing the status quo is the way to move forward for me. I am doing new things, asking for help, and accepting my vulnerability. It is clear how much I love and appreciate the people in my life – past, present, and future. It is also clear that I have had to work very hard at learning to trust my feelings, to actually feel my feelings, and to finally be in a place where I feel safe to be embodied in my emotions. Status quo does not allow the space for me to be safe being myself.

I have been trusting that I create my world, and lately, I feel like I’ve stepped into a new reality, and then another, and then another.

Yesterday, I broke down sobbing out loud for hours. I thought about the journey of the Death Card and the Six of Swords. I’ve accepted that this trip, this transmutation, is sometimes brutal. I didn’t hold back the keening, I couldn’t hold back the tears anyway if I tried. Emotions are supposed to move through us. I decided to put it out there and share my grief. This is what I posted on Instragram and Facebook:

View this post on Instagram

My friend Sarah stopped by. She brought her ukulele. We sat outside (at a distance) and played and sang some folk songs and Neil Young, Rolling Stones and Townes Van Zandt for a few minutes. It was good. Good to see and play with her. I haven’t seen my band mates and friends since the beginning of March. I am so Grateful I can be outside. We talked about music, and people we know who died in recent weeks, and who is sick . . . It was good to see her. And it hit me that I am so freakin’ sad today. I keep hoping that by having a good attitude and doing the best I can it will make some kind of difference – and then I think about what the freak is going on politically, and how it feels like the sky is really falling – caving in – and it feels so bad. I saw something admirable attributed to Bernie Sanders and of course I posted it (seriously like the one thing I ever posted about him – though I am a huge fan) but it turns out it wasn’t Bernie Sanders – even though it was totally a Bernie kind of thing. The point is/was, we blew it. Anyway – I just started sobbing and it’s 45 minutes later I am still sobbing. Every time I feel like I am done, I start crying again. I doing my best. My heart is broken. #ineedsomesunshine #grief

A post shared by Cosmic Holly (@hollytroy) on

The outpouring of love from so many friends was stunningly beautiful. Healing in so many ways. The journey continues to transform and unfold.

We are not alone.

Thanks for reading.

Stay safe. Be well.

So much love,


~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Every year, Kayleigh Jean from Falcons and Pentacles offers April Fool’s Journey – prompts for exploring the Major Arcana (the Hero’s Journey) through tarot card divination and a writing prompt. These are the cards I pulled for my own exploration – try pulling cards for yourself – or – get a reading from me.

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I'm a rock-n-roller poet who left the Big Apple for the Big Sky Desert where I've been letting it be and grooving with universal love, singing to the gods, dancing with the muses and bicycling with dreamtime messengers. I like altering my reality through imagination, movement, breath, and makin' stuff.

9 thoughts on “April Fool’s Journey 2020 – The Hanged Man

  1. Death & The 6 of swords, huh?

    “Yet, there is a chance for collective renewal if we release the status quo. This is a dark ride that we are on, and it may take some time to get to the other side. Loss, grief, despair, anger, loneliness and fear are part of the collective path right now. There is no room to drag along what is not necessary. We must shed the convictions that keep us believing in a world of “other”, of “alien” of “separateness”, and help one another cross the depths to experience our revival (6th of Swords).”

    Yes, on your post. Quoting you above is enough. You expressed both of those cardsf. P. Kkskw`s““““““““““““““““““““`qqq“““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““ right there up there, I would simply add an Awareness o

    Death As the Ultimate Master Gardner,

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ooh, I love Death is the Ultimate Master Gardener – it’s so true.

      And when I first looked at both these cards, rather than death with a scythe, I saw it as a boat oar – like Death was rowing into the river, and then, with the six of swords – we see Death from behind, rowing toward the shore – renewed from the journey as well. We are all in this together – even in our partnership with death

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Excellent. “Death As The Master Gardener” is a rather long post, and at the end there is a free, original Death As The Master Gardener Tarot Spread — 13-card spread in a PowerPoint doc.

    I look forward to your thoughts! And, I, too, am pleased with the conversation(s), and am full-on diggin’ your work, and Your & Paul’s music!

    Here it is 🙂 :

    Liked by 1 person

    1. wow! thanks for the link! 🙂 I am going to sit with it and chew slowly . . .

      Paul and I are putting together a few new songs – usually we play with a full on band and another female singer and I switch out our parts – so we haven’t touched the songs she sings lead on. Hopefully we will all be playing together soon – but in the meantime, we are expanding our repertoire

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Go You! 🙂

        You’re welcome for the link! I DO have to say as far as my spread creations go, the PowerPoint is solid, I feel it’s good content, a VERY big and involved spread… like a garden, though it was early on in my spread creation forays in regards to presentation, and nothing like what’s soon to be released from the “Coming Soon” post. 🙂 !! All files are NOW edited and prepped, and I have one last HUGE file foray to import them all together in one…. well, you’ll see. 😉 Heck… it’s only 100 pages including the cover. Is that too small a project? 😉 lol

        Looking forward to the new songs you guys are putting together. Great stuff.

        Liked by 1 person

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