My artist friend, Bohemian Cowboy, Raymond King Shurtz, sent this thoughtful message to me regarding my post The Shadow and Divine Wholeness.  The comment wasn’t posting properly – so I asked him if I could just go ahead and publish his comment as a post on my blog. This is one of the reasons why I write, to cultivate thought and communication. It is an inspired and lovely note on creativity, the creative process, the humiliation of performance and sharing art – and the sublime act of it as well – and – it is inspiring to me. Any maybe it will be inspiring to you. Here it is (from January 3, 2024):

Long Ago Ghosts . . .

According to Jung, the shadow sometimes overwhelms a person’s actions; for example, when the conscious mind is shocked, confused, or paralyzed by indecision. “A man who is possessed by his shadow is always standing in his own light and falling into his own traps…”

I loved your post. It is very hard to find people who incorporate this kind of thinking into their lives, or for me, exploring what it is agitating me, swinging my moods, or keeping me from processing my goals and aspirations. For example, I put a quote into action frequently, which either springs me into action or leaves me conceptually shaking with fear. This is the quote:

“Depression occurs when fantasy collapses in the face of reality.”

I love the idea that words, phrases, or literary quotes can be applied like mathematical equations. This quote can pertain to the literal, the symbolic, or the mystical. Like ‘existential kink’.

As I get older, however, my process of creating art is less compelled by the end result, which I am finding is very short lived. I’m often unaware when I’ve reached my result, especially with music. When I am aware, It usually happens unexpectedly. I’ll be in the middle of a show, having just finished a song, reach for a drink of water and have a sudden realization I’ve just experienced the result of a process; it usually lasts for a couple of days and then I move forward. But I do like the implication I’ve reached something profound in a realistic way. As you say, though, humiliation is often the norm, because during my process I’ve done this enough to know the faults in what I’ve just played or written. It’s why I love poetry, or writing a post (like you’ve just written.) The process and the result are very close to each other. A poem can lift me for a day, sometimes two, three if I think its good. It’s often a very personal experience, because generally, there is no one to tell. Hopefully, the reader experiences an atom of what I am experiencing.

Yesterday, (New Years Day) I had someone I don’t know and have never met write a scathing review of a video I posted of me talking to my mother and playing songs. I wanted to strike back a review of his review, but instead, just unfriended him and blocked him. But, it shook me. During my years as a playwright in Phoenix, the critics used to come to all my opening nights if I had a new play going up. My first review shocked both my conscious and unconscious mind to a degree of a long bout of depression, (they were scathing). Very gradually over a period of years I turned it around, but it almost killed me with the humiliation. I did learn to not let it overwhelm my actions, and tried not to produce out of spite. I also learned to look for light in other places as opposed to just my own. Yikes, I’m blathering on and on, I haven’t thought of these things in a very long time. (Your post stimulated some long ago ghosts in my spirit.) It’s very hard for me to understand being hated or maligned for something you do, or post, or write, or sing.

I don’t know how much of this pertains to existential kink, but its a really great word equation and a profound idea. Thank you for willingness to write these down, they are raw and moving.

~ ~ ~ ~ 

Here are some links connected to Raymond’s work. 

Here is a review of his one-man show, The Gospel of Irony by the Los Angeles times of Bohemian Cowboy at Elephant Lab Theater.

And another review of The Gospel of Irony by LA Weekly

Bohemian Cowboy

Raymond King Shurtz posts mostly on facebook now. I know him as a poet – his poems are human and gritty, I always feel like I am right there with him in the experience. They are cinematic! He is also a playwright. 

Here is a link to his blog Cowboys and Bohemians. It’s been a long while since he has posted there.

And of course, he is a guitar slinger! Out in the Escalante region of Utah – you can find him performing! Find him on Soundcloud, too. 

Peace, love and cowboys!

January 4, 2024
Flagstaff, AZ