This last month has been really freakin’ hard. Between friends dying, the death of two major relationships, and the possible blasting apart of a major project, I’ve been shaken and literally shaky. Despite yoga and meditation and walking the dog everyday, my stomach has been in knots and I’ve been having a hard time eating. I’m not liking all this change – I feel like I am in free fall and am having a hard time letting go. My nervous system is fried.
Grief. Loss. Winter.
This Thursday, I finally got sick. I missed the blog – and – I missed Amy Goodman from Democracy Now! speaking at Northern Arizona University.
Today, I’m still feeling queasy and exhausted, but doing my best to be active and in the sunshine. I walked into town today to buy supplies for soup – not sure if that was the best idea (8 miles or so) – but I couldn’t stay in the house.
I used to say – When in doubt, get an education. So, I’ve been thinking about an MFA for a while, it’s time to start applying – here in AZ, and outside of the state, too. I am hurting for intellectual discourse and stimulation – and my job (though I like everyone I work with) certainly isn’t providing it.
Do I get an MFA or do I take courses from Animas Valley Institute? With the MFA, I’d probably be stuck inside much of the time. WIth Animas Valley, I’d be outdoors most of the time. Is the degree worth it? What about spending time in nature before it’s gone?
I also want to get a good camera and get into the woods and take photos. I need to buy some equipment (both photography and camping gear and probably, eventually, gulp, a vehicle).
Do I spend a month or so on an ashram?
All require money – though it’s easier to acquire money when there is an end result in mind.
At any rate, I need to do something very different from what I have been doing – or at least that’s how I feel right now.
Speaking of education – check out this video of Noam Chomsky at the University of Arizona:
A little Chomsky in the morning has me thinking all afternoon.
Here are some links to Amy Goodman doing Democracy Now! from Flagstaff, AZ.
Thanks for reading.
Om shanti – Holly