Ever try and wonder why?

I called this number three times already today
But I… I got scared, I put it back in place (I put my phone back in place)
I still don’t know if I, should have called up
Look… just tell me, why, don’t you, if I’m… out of place
Cause here’s your chance to make me feel awkward
And wish that I had never even called up this place

I saw you though today
Walk by with Hippie Johnny
I had to call up and say
How I wanna take his place

So this phone call today concerns Hippie Johnny
He’s always stoned
He’s never straight

I saw you today, you know
Walk by with Hippie Johnny
Look, I had to call up and say
I wanna take his place

See, he’s stoned
Hippie Johnny
Now get this: I’m straight.
And I want to take his place

Now, look, I like him too, I like
Hippie Johnny
But I’m straight
And I want to take his place

I said: I’m straight
I said I’m straight
I’m proud to say.
Well, I’m straight
And I want to take his place

Now I’ve watched you walk around here
I’ve watched you meet
Boyfriends, you know, and you tell me how they’re deep
But look, I think these guys…
If they’re really so great
Tell me, why they can’t they at least take this place
And take it straight?

Why always stoned?
Like Hippie Johhny is
I’m straight
And I want to take his place
I’m certainly not stoned
Like Hippie Johhny is
I’m straight
And I want to take his place
I said: I’m straight!
I said I’m straight!
I’m…
I’m straight
And I want to…

I’m straight! (tell the world now!)
I’m straight (that’s it!)
I’m straight (yeah)
I’m straight
And I want to take his place

This song is by The Modern Lovers and appears on the album The Modern Lovers (1976). Written by Jonathan Richman.

• Jonathan Richman – vocals, electric guitars
• Jerry Harrison – piano, organ, backing vocals
• Ernie Brooks – bass, backing vocals
• David Robinson – drums, backing vocals