Process, Pain, and Exhilaration

This morning and feeling everything

It’s a cloudy winter morning.

I am feeling all sorts of up and down.

I’m grateful to be making art today – and every single piece (six, and possibly seven if I go back to work on a piece that has been nudging at me for two years) is at that point where it’s going to get really ugly before it gets better. It’s ok. It is part of the process. And the process is a little painful, but that’s how it goes.

And music is in a flux, too. I am at a point where I realize I really fuckin’ care about what it is I’m doing even if no one else does, and it sort of hurts. Cuz again, I am at a place where I have the vocal skill – I have worked my whole life for that, and the guitar skill is building, and the work is at a place where it’s getting ugly before it gets right.

And it may never necessarily be beautiful.

And I read this by @amandapalmer this morning and I cried cuz I have been there and I am there:

“greetings from the kitchen floor literally.

art is hard.

everybody forgets or doesn’t really know how hard and weird it is to actually be in the studio making the thing and doing the same vocal take 16 times to get it right and then still you listen back and you got it wrong. there are some days at my job where i barely understand what i do while simultaneously knowing that my job is just really fuckin weird and whatever the weird things are, i am good at them.”

And so, this is how it goes. This image above is of one of the pieces that will be up for the show at the High Country Conference Center beginning in March. Today it’s my favorite finished piece.

I am off to take a yoga class this morning. And next week I’ll be subbing for the same class. Another toe back in the yoga teaching waters. One toe, one step at a time.

This afternoon – in the studio

This will all look so different over the next week. Normally one painting takes weeks or months because I have to walk away. But I have taken the plunge and am working on six, possibly seven all at once. This is what I do.

Color! Color! Color! and shapes! I could paint portraits, but I don’t wanna do that right now.

I have a show coming up in March at the High Country Conference Center and I am continuing with the Sky Pixel Series. A professor from college challenged me to create a series of six paintings, so I took up the challenge. Since the show requires I do at least 10 paintings, I am going for 11 or 12.

Tonight!

I had the house to myself. I had the day to make some decisions about music.

Dancing feels good!

OK, so even if I only play for ten or fifteen minutes, cuz it’s late now – I gotta play my guitar.

Life is weird.

Peace and so much love!

 

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I'm a rock-n-roller poet who left the Big Apple for the Big Sky Desert where I've been letting it be and grooving with universal love, singing to the gods, dancing with the muses and bicycling with dreamtime messengers. I like altering my reality through imagination, movement, breath, and makin' stuff.

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