This pie is skewed.
I was thinking about a conversation I’d had about a decade ago with a man whom I experienced as intelligent, generous, and open-minded. He was an ecological activist who was working diligently for water conservation and clean water laws; he came to a few goddess performance rituals I took part in; and he was a musician who practiced yoga.
I assumed he was progressive all around – until a conversation that went like this . . .
Me: “I asked for a raise.”
Him: “You can’t ask for a raise.”
Me: “Why not? I do good work, clients love me, and I beat deadlines. Besides, I know more about what our department is actually doing than the manager does.”
Him: “If you get a raise, you’ll be making almost as much as me.”
Me: “So what.”
Him: “So what? If women make the same amount of money as men, what will they need men for?”
Me: “What about LOVE? What about COMPANIONSHIP? What you just said is so sad.”
And I thought, damn, what a low self-esteem this guy has. And even more sadly, this is what men are taught – if not directly, then indirectly.
And women are taught this, too.
Question: How can there be love if we believe in inequality? How do we negotiate our worth if not through our wages? What do you personally value – and is it in accordance with society’s values or is it something more, or less, or different? (feel free to respond in the comments section)
If we only understood – we are stardust.
Joni nails it.