Under the Cold Surface . . .

the heart

The heart is the toughest part of the body.
Tenderness is in the hands.  ~ 
Carolyn Forché

“Be real with love! We have so little time here.” – Randi Vanessa Taylor-Habib

“If you work really hard, and you’re kind, amazing things will happen.” ~ Conan O’Brien

love on  summer day (c) 2014 Holly Troy“I love you also means I love you more than anyone loves you, or has loved you, or will love you, and also, I love you in a way that no one loves you, or has loved you, or will love you, and also, I love you in a way that I love no one else, and never have loved anyone else, and never will love anyone else.” ― Jonathan Safran Foer

“To love at all is to be vulnerable.” – C.S. Lewis

“Certainly the modern poets I cherish most are disturbing spirits; they do not come to coo.” ~ Stanley Kunitz

“Grief changes shape, but it never ends. People have a misconception that you can deal
with it and say, ‘It’s gone, and I’m better.’ They’re wrong.” — Keanu Reeves

“Come on people, now, smile on your brother,
Everybody get together, try to love one another
right now…. ”
—Chet (Chester Williams) Powers, Jr. (1937-1994)
AKA Dino Valenti, Jesse Oris Farrow,
“Let’s Get Together” (1963)

“If we begin to get in touch with whatever we feel with some kind of kindness, our protective shells will melt, and we’ll find that more areas of our lives are workable. AS we learn to have compassion for ourselves, the circle of compassion for others—what and whom we can work with, and how—becomes wider.” – Pema Chodron

“The only reason that we don’t open our hearts and minds to other people is that they trigger confusion in us that we don’t feel brave enough or sane enough to deal with. To the degree that we look clearly and compassionately at ourselves, we feel confident and fearless about looking into someone else’s eyes.” – Pema Chodron

“From the very beginning to the very end, pointing to our own hearts to discover what is true isn’t just a matter of honesty but also of compassion and respect for what we see.” – Pema Chodron

“I grabbed my book and opened it up. I wanted to smell it. Heck, I wanted to kiss it. Yes, kiss it. That’s right, I am a book kisser. Maybe that’s kind of perverted or maybe it’s just romantic and highly intelligent.”  ― Sherman Alexie

“Compassion is the basis of morality.” ~ Arthur Schopenhauer

“Love comforteth like sunshine after rain.” ~ William Shakespeare

A strange passion is moving in my head.
My heart has become a bird
Which searches in the sky.
Every part of me goes in different directions.
Is it really so
That the one I love is everywhere? ~ Rumi

 more heart quotes here . . . 

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Holly hails from an illustrious lineage of fortune tellers, yogis, folk healers, troubadours and poets of the fine and mystical arts. Shape-shifting Tantric Siren of the Lunar Mysteries, she surfs the ebbs and flows of the multiverse on the Pure Sound of Creation. Her alchemy is Sacred Folly — revolutionary transformation through Love, deep play, Beauty, and music.

4 thoughts on “Under the Cold Surface . . .

  1. Hi Gorgeous You    -am lovin all these great quotes–I think I might recognize one or two from things I sent you back when?  Fun to see Carolyn Forche’s name at top–I first met her yrs ago, last saw her at reading at Esmerelda’s in Del Mar c1994; she & I shared old Rex as mentor/friend…I had such a crush on her way back when.  Gosh she was lovely & strong!        I so love knowing you are just up in Flag (so near but so far also from the valley floor down here).  I love mentally see you tooling around all over up there on yr mntn bike & so happy thinking you are with someone compatible, appreciative, etc.  Love is so necessary.  You deserve such happiness, freedom & fulfillment.  Whenever I see any one of your many many selfie (& other photo) faces, I get such a smile.      I am taking another poetry writing class at the cc & one on mythology (so different from my own uni course on Ritual, Symbol & Myth!).  It’s a lot of extra work, but helps keep me grounded. I asked one of my fellow poetry students waiting together before class this morning if she could safely time travel to any time & back, when would it be?  “The 80s!”  “Wow, you are OLD school! Why then?–it was so boring!” “Oh, no! It’s seems SO exciting from the movies!” “Who would you like to meet? “Molly Ringwald, of course! …and Def Leopard–wait, were they in the 80s?” “I really couldn’t say…”   So bitter-sweet funny to me–the 80s of all things! Why then? “You know,” she explained, “just to see if it was REALLY as great as it seems!”  What a world. We are all of us so time-bound/culture-bound…I actually had a ton of good times in the 80s, but not much related in my mind to it BEing the 80s! –which seemed to go on from about 77 or 8 to about 94 or 5, as decades sometimes do.  Molly Ringwald.  I often get similarly surprising responses to the question of “if you could safely visit any PLACE in the world…?” I actually met someone from France one time who could wait to see Nebraska! The world is a funny place.  I sometimes feel however that there are perhaps two or maybe two and a half persons alive somewhere now with whom I could really sit down and have the kind of conversations I would love to have, but I have no idea quite who they are or where.  But reasonably interesting enough conversations (meaningless chit chat) now and then with almost anyone the least bit  congenial, but I have to just get into and stay in my “Valley life” mode here for that daily.  Wow do I sound like a thoroughly disgusting curmudgeon more & more every day now.      My team won trivial pursuit again the other night–about the 3rd or 4th time now.  three of the right answers I contributed (I can’t remember all the complete questions!): Hemingway, the Monitor, and 1959.  Name the iconic American writer who in WWI…(something or other)….  Name the first iron-clad US ship with a flush toilet.  In what year did Fidel Castro take power in Cuba, Bobby Darin’s recording of ‘Mack the Knife’ hit #1, and…(about five other events sharing the same year, which only made me question whether 59 was right after all –it was)….  I never have anything to contribute for the many sports questions, but others do okay with those.   It is one of the most inane social activities I have ever willingly engaged in (repeatedly, now), but it does have its low-key fun aspect somehow.  I’ve always felt that “games”  of any sort were for people who have no conversation (most people).  And I would say it does seem true to a large extent of the others on my team at least.  But it gets me out of my poetry books and paper grading mode once a week.  A strange life I’m leading these days.       My (young and handsome) poetry teacher has assigned Kim Addonizio’s writing book.  He enthused over her first day: “She’s like just so badass, hangs out in bars! and rides motorcycles!”  When I was working at Oliver’s Books in Marin in the 90s she rented our space on our closed night for her first weekly evening writing classes, for i think about 5 or 7 people.  A nice gal, but the drinking and biking is the least interesting thing about her (or anyone, w/ a brain).  But I could see why our fella thinks it’s cool.  No one remembers Lew Welch! (among so many others!) any one reaching back that far thinks Robert Creeley was the best or only one writing! etc etc. But of course the category is badass poet chicks.  Who write “textbook”-friendly books.  A funny world at every turn.  Lenore Kandel, heads above, was great enough, but actually only a precipitate of an entire species of women poets of the day, many much better–and more “badass”/angelic than she in every way. But none of them (even Ann Waldman) wrote “how to write (better)” books. Kim’s cool, I like her, her family’s interesting, but drinking & biking? come on now.      Oh well we’re all in this together. We each start from where we find ourselves. There’s no accounting for taste, including not least my own. And none of us get outta here alive. Laissez les bon temps rouler!            “If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he comes next to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination.”                                                        —Thomas de Quincey (1785-1859) “When I have a little money, I buy books; and if I have any left, I buy food and clothes.”                                                            —Desiderius Erasmus (1469-1536)

    From: Sacred Folly To: asiastudies2001@yahoo.com Sent: Tuesday, February 17, 2015 7:50 AM Subject: [New post] Under the Cold Surface . . . #yiv7558000360 a:hover {color:red;}#yiv7558000360 a {text-decoration:none;color:#0088cc;}#yiv7558000360 a.yiv7558000360primaryactionlink:link, #yiv7558000360 a.yiv7558000360primaryactionlink:visited {background-color:#2585B2;color:#fff;}#yiv7558000360 a.yiv7558000360primaryactionlink:hover, #yiv7558000360 a.yiv7558000360primaryactionlink:active {background-color:#11729E;color:#fff;}#yiv7558000360 WordPress.com | Holly Troy posted: “the heartThe heart is the toughest part of the body.Tenderness is in the hands.  ~ Carolyn Forché“Be real with love! We have so little time here.” – Randi Vanessa Taylor-Habib“If you work really hard, and you’re kind, amazing things will happe” | |

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    1. Carolyn Forche is absolutely stunning! Back in the early 2000s she did a reading at Hunter College, and of course, my dear professors turned me on to her (William Pitt Root and Jan Heller Levi). I’ve ready a few of Carolyn’s books, and have yet to finish Against Forgetting – a very thick book that she edited. Anti-War poems, I believe beginning with the Armenian Genocide. I can only read a small amount at a time because the poems are heart-wrenching, the work is by people who were on the front lines. What emotional strength that must have taken to create that book. Of course, Forche’s poem The Colonel is chilling and unforgettable.

      I am glad you are taking some courses and having a good time with them. Yes! I have been taking a long slow time getting my manuscript together – I missed the deadline for Fall 2015 MFA, but the enrollment is ongoing. I am going to apply as a TA as well – I love teaching. I can take calsses until I am accepted (or not) in the meantime.

      I’ve been pretty happy. Love is really important. Even though I was not brought up to believe it, I know it.

      Funny that kids romanticize the 80s! It was a horrid time for me sandwiched between two great decades. (I knew the 80s were going to be weird – with the tragedy of John Lennon being shot and Ronald Reagan being elected right at the beginning of the decade). The 80s were an awkward time – and to me, Molly Ringwald sort of captured the awkwardness of that era. I always thought the 60s (and not just the late 60s – but late 50s and early 60s) looked like an amazing time, the music alone – the Beatles, Hendrix, the Rolling Stones . . . but you would probably have figured that – though I think the turn of the 20th century looked pretty darn interesting – at least the art was wild – Klimt and Schiel – wow. And folks delving into Eastern philosophies. Or right before the turn of the century – catching Walt Whitman, Emerson, and Thoreau.

      I used to feel like I was born in the wrong era, and maybe I was, or maybe I lived in one era and have been reincarnated to this one. I was talking to my aunt and I told her that I probably wouldn’t do any of my life over again. I would rather just move forward with it. Though, 25 was a pretty good year – the 90s were so ripe creatively – and now I feel a new creative cycle coming on. Of course the 80s fed a lot of that creativity. 😉

      I know what you mean about having the kind of conversations you would wish to have, and wondering where everyone has gone. You do not sound like a curmudgeon, and though it might have something to do with age I don’t think that’s all of it. I think most folks are just so busy now trying to stay afloat that it’s difficult for people to slow down and think about what has meaning. Part of the creative swing in the 90s for me and many of my fellow artist and philosopher friends was that living was actually affordable. I know I didn’t have to work so much – not that I didn’t work, but I worked at things I enjoyed.

      And games! Yes! But what to do?? We do live in strange times – and it is good to get out among folks. At least you are able to answer the obscure questions. This weekend I had some interesting conversations with a crew of cyclists – from Egyptian pyramids to vasectomies to existential ideas late (not really that late, but when you’re camping and it’s dark, 8:30 seems late) in the night. It felt like a long time since I’ve just had the chance to sit and talk. Something about sitting around a fire after having worked my body hard in a completely new landscape feels very good to me now.

      Hanging out in bars seems not so uncommon, but ok. Maybe it is badass. Maybe being a poet at all is badass. But boy, your class sounds like fun. 🙂

      Always always always great to hear from you!




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