The edges of inspiration

There has not been much art-making this year, at least not in the conventional sense. I have danced on the edges of what my body and mind can handle in terms of giving care to my mom. In tiny ways I’ve made visual art. The work calls for it – it won’t be left alone for long. 

I know I will look back at 2022 and be so thankful for this very difficult year – a year that feels like it began in March, 2020.

And everything feeds the well. 

A few days before going to see my mom in New York for her 80th birthday (September 2021), I broke up with my partner of almost four years. In one night, as we were moving out of the house we called home together, the build up of tension gave way and I was through. We were fighting for months (and performing music at the same time), I was experiencing heart palpitations almost daily, and – finally – the relationship was over. The switch was flipped.

Before the pandemic we had plans to do a living room tour of the southwest and west coast with our music. That came to a halt, of course. We completely disagreed on how to navigate the pandemic, the impeachments, and the insurrection. Eventually our relationship frayed apart completely. It was time.

While in New York for my visit, I went to the city a couple of times. I walked around with a big grin on my face the whole time. I really missed it, and was so happy to be back. As I was leaving New York, my mom said, “See you in November,” and that’s when I thought, “Yeah, I’m coming back, aren’t I?”

I returned to Flagstaff for four weeks in October 2021 for my art show at the Heartbox. I stayed at a friend’s house – I am so grateful! I made this video while staying there. It still rings true!

I donated almost everything I owned, fit what I could in my car, and drove home. I visited my friend Jordan in Taos on the way.

And my life is still nomadic – or is nomadic again.

I have faith that the perfect place for me to land in New York will materialize. Right now I have a few places, and they are all wonderful. 

I am grateful for being able to help my mom. I am grateful and hopeful for getting back to my life, getting back to work and art and yoga and writing and music.

After all, “Art is a way of showing gratitude for my life and the world I live in.”

It feels peaceful.

It is time (again).

November 26, 2022
Woodstock, New York

 

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Holly hails from an illustrious lineage of fortune tellers, yogis, folk healers, troubadours and poets of the fine and mystical arts. Shape-shifting Tantric Siren of the Lunar Mysteries, she surfs the ebbs and flows of the multiverse on the Pure Sound of Creation. Her alchemy is Sacred Folly — revolutionary transformation through Love, deep play, Beauty, and music.

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