So much changed since we put on this house concert in June 2021. We knew changes were happening, big ones, and yet, we still had so much fun making music.

By September, we split up, moved out of the house, went our separate ways. Though I love the mountains (I never grew tired of the San Francsico Peaks), fresh air, and southwestern sunsets, I made the decision to come back east to help take care of my mom.

Since then, I’ve been in three bands, in three art shows, received an arts grant, lived in New York City, lived in the forest upstate, taught a workshop in Flagstaff and Kingston, expanded my tarot practice, am in the middle of two massive art projects, slowed down, turned inward, left social media (mostly/sort of), and became very private. Mom passed. I’m grateful I was present with her at the end.

I have been feeling unsettled and in a state of “not knowing” for almost six years! I don’t like this feeling, but i’m learning how to relax into it. I’m giving myself time to not worry about getting it “right.” I’m learning – I’m willing –  trust my self, Divine Love, presence, curiosity, fun, playfulness, and connection. 

My friend and mentor, Jenean Perelstein suggests keeping a success journal. It’s proof to yourself that you are capable of letting your heart be the compass of your life.  It helps for times when it feels like these questions keep coming up:

• Where am I going?
• What am I doing again?
• Why did I start this?
• What made me think I could do this?
• How did I ever think I could have a good life?

I feel like videos are part of the journal. Looking back at music and art right now feels soothing – because man oh man! Home is about to change again, some more – and while it’s something I put into motion over a year ago  – I am rattled for the disruption.

And – I got this! And maybe with a smile and a song – if not at least some poetry and adventure.

And what’s life without taking chances?

I look at astrology and the cycles of the moon – basically the patterns in and of continual change. There is a rhythm to everything.

All I am is right here, right now. That’s music. All I need to do is show up, notice, and take the next best (melodious) (harmonious) step. 

February 9, 2026
Hudson Valley

image: chances still shot © holly troy 2021

Chances written by Paul Peereault