disturbed (fragment)

It disturbs me even thinking about it. I don’t embarrass easily, but this was such a disaster. The sound of one hand clapping.

Sometimes I think about performing, all the performing I’ve done, and I know I have been carrying out someone else’s vision. And as I write that I think, bull! I interpreted someone else’s work, and I was good at it. Yeah. Not that I had no voice. It disturbs me to think I have no voice now. No imagination.

Oh. That’s horribly disturbing, the idea, the knowledge that my imagination is being sucked dry. Is sucked dry.

Where do I nurture the well?

Being married disturbs me. Being alive often disturbs me.

I think our new neighbors downstairs are going to disturb me.

© 2006

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Holly hails from an illustrious lineage of fortune tellers, yogis, folk healers, troubadours and poets of the fine and mystical arts. Shape-shifting Tantric Siren of the Lunar Mysteries, she surfs the ebbs and flows of the multiverse on the Pure Sound of Creation. Her alchemy is Sacred Folly — revolutionary transformation through Love, deep play, Beauty, and music.

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