Protect your Mind
It’s been a rush and tumble of so much muchness, I find myself asking – What in heck am I doing with my life? What is the meaning of it all anyway? Last week, and the last couple of months, I put my head in my hands and yelled – STOP! And so I did. I needed a reset, badly.
I had a bunch of plans, just for the week, and they changed. I was gonna visit a friend in Colorado, didn’t happen. I could have gone to band rehearsal, but instead, I rode my mountain bike 30 miles up the mountain and through the golden aspen with two of my best, lifetime friends. Saturday, I cleaned my art studio and went for a walk, started writing a song. Practiced my guitar.
Yesterday, I went for a five hour walk in the forest through an aspen grove with another lifetime friend. We’ve seen and been through dangerous crazy things together. We are older now, no longer kids trying to be safe in situations that were anything but safe. Walking in the woods, we were women of a certain age talking about some heavy shit. Today, my friend is a school teacher and a Buddhist. She said:
“It’s good you took a break. Think about it. Your brother died of a drug overdose last year while hanging out with your sister. Your aunt had a heart attack a month ago and can’t take care of your mom anymore. Your sister almost gave your mother, aunt, and other sister Covid. You got clarity on sexual abuse in your family. Duke died this summer. It’s a lot to process. Get some more EMDR. And now – do what you love. Your job is a musician, keep making those videos with Paul. That’s your job, and people can’t go out to music right now. And keep doing the reiki videos, too. It helps people and they need it.”
The time, the ride, the walk, and the company helped. My old (punk) friends are good for acknowledging and mingling the present moment with personal history, and for pointing out the potentials for the future. I’m feeling awake, guided, and inspired today.
This is from a facebook post by my friend Holly Ramos: “i was into hardcore as a kid, we were a specific group of outcasts who found each other. this was the medicine we took. this is how we channeled the bottomless anger of very fucked up homes (many of us, anyway.) the bad brains did it better than anyone, they were power, not rage, a line that many others didn’t know how to navigate. the rage was real but not as healing. this was how we celebrated joyously. this is how we stayed alive. this saved my life.”
I couldn’t have said it better.
And this message from Dave Grohl:
Have a great week!
Above Image of Photos by Lucian Perkins/Akashic Books. from Mother Jones: A Pulitzer Prize Winner’s Photos of the early DC Punk Scene.