So grateful to be alive!

Today is a day of miracles! Today is a day of completion. I give thanks for this perfect day! Miracle shall follow miracle and wonders shall never cease.

Oh happy day! I’m so grateful to be with my friends today! So grateful! So grateful!

1. I am so grateful I am with friends today.
2. I am so grateful for the healing conversation I had with Speed yesterday — wow! Completely unexpected and it feels so good. It feels like we are back to this level where we are two compassionate human beings making our way in our own lives as we go. Sometimes we stumble, but we try to do what’s right, benevolent, and kind.
3. I’m so grateful for the conversation I had with Chirp — and I hope we get to be better friends, especially when she moves to Vermont. I see us paddle boarding on a lake!
4. I am so grateful for the conversation with Kink yesterday — it was so good to see him! I hope we do get together in Syracuse, we have some music to make! We have only been talking about it for years.
5. I am so grateful for this little house I’ve been living in for the last six weeks, and being able to save money for rent.
6. I am so grateful Ramsey and Goat thought of me for taking care of their dogs and chickens and cat — and for lending me their beautiful car, too — and for flying me out!
7. I am so grateful we are going to have a celebration today! For my BIRTHDAY! Woohoo!
8. I am so grateful for the time alone this morning to write out my gratitude list.
9. I am so grateful for the beauty of this place high in the mountains, the pines, the fresh air, the light twinkling on the frost in the grass.
10. I am so grateful my calendar is full for the next week — adventures await me!
11. I am so grateful my mama and my auntie are celebrating Christmas in New Jersey with Bluebird and the rest of my family.
12. I am so grateful that my sister Bluebird, who helps so many people, is finally going to work in a place that is welcoming and bright and respectful and that she gets her own office!
13. I am so grateful I am having conversations with my little sister again — it feels healing to me.
14. I am so grateful that I reached out to Cindy Brody and that we make an amazing team.
15. I am so grateful for the gift of Qi Gong — my visit in northern Arizona would be very different without it. I love the movement of energy — oh! It has really helped me shake off grief and move it out of my body and has made room for me to pour in joy and vitality.
16. I am so grateful for the new openness I feel with Sequoia. I feel like we are becoming good friends.       * I dreamed about Sequoia last night. I dreamed I hugged her — and I told her I loved her. It was super easy and flowing. And in my dream I observed myself hugging her – and – it actually happened. After Qi Gong I did hug her and tell her I love her. It was great! Energetically it was quite a leap from the rigidity I was feeling at the beginning of the trip – I can feel it in my body. I was protecting my heart and filled with grief and feeling separate and guarded.
17. I am grateful I told Summer I wish I had been a better friend — she told me the same thing, and so much shifted in the energy between us since we talked.
18. I am grateful for the ease I feel in my heart and body today.
19. I am grateful to watch the sunrise, the shafts of light creating rainbow sparkles in the frost on the grass.
20. I am grateful for my friend Athena and that her surgery went well this time around. I am happy I saw her when I fist got into town, and I hope to see her again.
21. I am so grateful I sent love to my broken-hearted self, it really helped me.
22. I am grateful for Jill. She is a good friend for navigating interstitial spaces.
23. I am grateful for the heart-opening and empowering Solstice Ritual with an eclectic group of women. It was amazing to see the shift from us all being shy to being clear and grounded and laughing and crying and standing in the easy flow of our feminine power. We were embodied and empowered.
24. I am grateful to be dancing and moving my body everyday.
25. I am grateful for the Thanksgiving hike up the mountain with Argyle and Moto Kitty, and for the time and wonderful dinner we shared.
26. I am so grateful to be loved by some pretty wonderful people.
27. I am grateful for all the tree-hugging I’ve been doing.
28. I am grateful I am homesick for New York — and am eager to create a home for myself in the next year, and to get on with making art and music and practicing yoga and energetic healing.
29. I am grateful I am learning how to really love and embrace my child self — and to have the chance to acknowledge and heal from so much trauma.
30. I am so grateful and excited that I now have a stand up paddle board! I am looking forward to a new sport!
31. I am grateful for water and pristine lakes to play in!
32. I am so deeply grateful for my chosen family of sisters on the east coast. People have asked me if I will stay in Flagstaff — and I said, “No. Flagstaff was my home for 15 years. My community is on the east coast now.” Ah, I am so grateful for my east coast friends.
33. I am so grateful for the synchronicities I experience everyday — I feel like they are breadcrumbs along the path.
34. I am so grateful fro the art show I was invited to be in at the Kingston Pop Museum. I am so glad Paul Kostabi thought of me. Getting the show together in two weeks was an intense challenge that made me grow as an artist.
35. I am so grateful for the turnout at the Kingston Pop Museum show — it was the first time my new community on the east coast got to see what I do. I felt incredibly vulnerable and also very supported. It was exhilarating.
36. I am so grateful I have chosen to live a healthy, clean, embodied lifestyle. I get to feel!
37. I am so grateful for the little gathering and amazing dinner Ramsey and Goat are hosting for my birthday today! After I write this list I need to give them hugs.
38. I am so happy and grateful I have the desire to make six figures this year! I absolutely know it’s possible and I am going to have a lot of fun doing it.
39. I am so grateful for the women that are showing me how to be with ease and grace.
40. I am so grateful I have helped my mom over the last couple of years — I am glad she is still here on this place on this plane of existence. I am also glad when I left for this two month trip I felt clean with her — that I could leave and do this journey no matter what happens, whether she lives or dies before i return.
41. I’m so grateful I have to make more art to sell, I am almost out of everything.
42. I’m so grateful I am starting to wrap my mind around limited edition prints of my work — that’s something to look forward to in 2024.
43. I am so glad that 53 adds up to my soul number and the number of wealth — 8.
44. I am so glad Graham took my art seriously and asked me lots of questions about the project I’m in the process of creating. The intellectual process is a big part of the deep creative dive.
45. I’m so grateful for creative intellectual stimulation — and for the beginning of finding words to my experience.
46. I am so grateful for feeling inklings of joy and curiosity and playfulness and innocence — even if they are fleeting! They are there! I know those inklings are more breadcrumbs toward what my heart is capable of and what I deserve in my relationships and life. Feel that Move toward that.
47. I am so grateful I value myself.
48. I am so grateful for the expansive vulnerable conversations on fear and love I have regularly with my sweet and brilliant and hilarious friend Queen!
49. I am so grateful for my sister friends Vegas and L.A. helping me navigate this life! Our time at the lake, and the BBQs — and that we watch out for and take care of one another. That day we swam to the middle of the lake and shared stories in the water was a rebirth. I reclaimed my 12 year-old self that day — the last time I had innocence and ease in my body — the last time I felt light and carefree in the world was the summer I was 12, and again, the summer I was 52.
50. I am so grateful to continue to reclaim fragments of my self — and to have friends who help me do that. I am not lost, I don’t have to hide either. I am whole, worthy of love and a good life, and I can take as long as I need to feel at ease in the world.
51. I am grateful for moments of ease.
52. I am so grateful for music and all the amazing musicians that I know and all the magic in the world created by sound vibrations.
53. I am grateful to be here!

I am so happy to move my body and throw my hands in the air and claim my power and joy and gratitude and to dance and to feel desire and prana and love and to claim it all for my life! 53! Hurray!

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December 24, 2023
Flagstaff, AZ