Letter from a Reluctant Cave Dweller

Old School Update

Hi there! Greetings!

Here we are, almost half way through the deep days of summer. Every year around this time I am amazed at my life and another summer passing. This season has a surreal quality for me: it feels like time is stretching and contorting; I can’t sleep until late into the night so I need a siesta in the middle of the day; and I am visited by my ancestors and siblings in my dreams.

2025 feels even more strange, almost static. I imagine part of the haze has to do with adjusting to the world since Mom died, and not adjusting to what the United States has become.

Most of you know I’m into astrology. I have to mention all the outer planets in our solar system have moved into new signs. The outer planets are connected to our collective consciousness and have generational influences. Pluto’s and Neptune’s orbits are much larger than a human lifespan. Uranus takes 84 to 86 years to cycle around the sun, Saturn almost 30 years, and Jupiter 12 years.

Pluto switched signs a couple of months ago, and all the rest of the planets changed signs in the last month. Three of the planets are moving into signs they haven’t occupied in our lifetimes, which means we have never experienced these energies before.

If you are feeling something happening but can’t put your finger on it, it might be these big cosmic shifts.

Of course there are a lot of things we can put our fingers on. I personally like to work with the planets as my allies. For decades, I’ve worked (played) with phases of the moon (monthly happenings), and in recent years have added other planets into the mix.

I like experimenting. Being an artist requires daydreaming and pondering “what ifs . . . ” and “I wonders . . .”

Even if astrology or mixing things up is not your thing, each of us still must decide what will be the focus of our lives everyday.

No matter what, life as usual hasn’t been usual for years – and I’m letting myself be curious. For a while (years) I was saying, “I’m moving through the unknown,” but that started to feel overwhelming. “I’m curious,” feels better for me these days. The “unknown” sounds forbidden and treacherous, like crossing the River Styx and trying to make it home alive. “Curiosity” is more like play as opposed to death defying.

I remember when I first started mountain biking, every rock and tree root was an insurmountable obstacle. With a little persistence and practice, obstacles became part of the fun and I could easily roll over or ride around them. If I couldn’t get through a rock garden – I got off my bike, threw it over my shoulder, and ran (or walked) until the path was rideable again. It was my chance to reclaim myself in nature, I rode at a pace that felt challenging and enjoyable.

The trick to cycling was looking at where I wanted to go; having an awareness but not focusing on the obstacles; adjusting my center of gravity in order to stay balanced; to pace myself so I had strength and energy for the ride; and to have enough water and food before, during, and after the ride so my body and muscles could repair. Also, I quickly learned that if I ran a negative story in my mind while riding, I crashed.

I used to joke that mountain biking was a metaphor for life. But it really is. Awareness of obstacles but focusing on where you want to go (the goal), timing, nutrition, rest, self-care, growth and enjoyment are part of a great adventure. All of that is the process. And no matter what, all of it is a risk. Falling flat on your face may not happen, but it’s a real possibility. (If you know, you know).

My mountain bike is in Arizona. I am in New York. I’m not riding much (I ride when I visit Flagstaff), but I still carry the lessons from my mountain biking days.

In 2021, I moved to New York to help with my mom’s transition. Being in the unknown was not an exaggeration, and I did walk with my mother as far as I could go to the River Styx. She left last October on the New Moon Solar Eclipse, Roshashanna. New beginnings. Mom picked the perfect time to go.

I feel like I have finally reached the surface after climbing my way out of the underworld for the last nine months. I’d been taking my time, planting seeds along the way. I left what I couldn’t carry. Mainly, I surrendered. The world is different. The path is not the same. There is new information to learn.

These are the seeds I’ve been sowing:

Painting

I’ve finished five new paintings this year, two of which have sold. There are four more canvases and five more cardboard pieces all in various stages of completion.

There are two distinct multi-painting long-term projects that are in the works. One is the Star Field Project and the other will launch on Kickstarter soon.

Workshops

With the current state of cruelty in the world – love is more important than ever. I am searching out venues for the workshops I Divine Love, a Playful Affirmation of the True Nature of Self and Writing the Energetic Body.

Aham Prema

I’ve been chanting aham prema, which means, “I am Divine Love” publicly on youtube since 2021. I will continue this project until 125,000 aham prema iterations have been completed.

Tarot

I’m working on a book about experiencing the tarot as a personal and embodied practice.

I’ve been reading tarot cards for a living. I love it! Because the world is so wild right now — I am offering a 25% discount for the entire year of 2025.

I have space for 3 more readings this month.

Words

There are several projects going on my blog – American Sentence 2.0, Reader Response, Forbidden Word Project, 10,000 Plums Project. The blog is mainly where I respond to the world and show my art at the moment.

Astrology

Every week I post a youtube video about the moon cycles and pull tarot cards for the vibe of the week.

I’m currently studying with Visionary Astro-Mytho Activist, Caroline W. Casey. I feel a kinship with her optimism and use of astrology and storytelling as a way of dancing with and creating a new narrative for humanity. Why not use every creative tool available to invoke a new perspective?

~ ~ ~

I’m still at the edge of the cave – my life feels like I am still in a transitory place. I don’t know if this is how it will always feel – if this is what happens when you get to be in your 50s or if this is just my perception/reality of things right now.

I’ve been off social media since January 20, 2025, hence the group newsletter-style update. Feel free to pass this message on if there is anything that resonates.

I’m still making art, I’m still writing, I’m still spending time outdoors, I’m still exploring tarot and astrology and meditation and yoga. I’m posting mainly on my blog now and having some interesting conversations there. It’s nice to go deeper than a blip or a soundbyte.

What’s happening with you? I would love to hear from you.

What are your creative happenings? What are you loving right now? How are you staying sane in these times? Are you staying sane?

holly troy ~ sacred folly

Letter from a Reluctant Cave Dweller