I joined Gabrielle Bernstein’s 21-Day Manifesting Challenge. Why not? Why not add to the list of ever expanding stuff I want to do? But seriously, I have at least two major projects on the front burner, not including music.

One of the things I can say with certainty is that I am a musician. And making music is something I had to reclaim for myself after a fourteen-year silence. While music was on hiatus, I focused on my other other interests – yoga, writing, art, mountain biking. And though I honed my skills as a teacher, a somatic explorer, and even to an extent – an athlete, I found art and writing didn’t hold much power or joy for me without music. I simply was unable to complete the creative trifecta with yoga or cycling.

Neptune’s artful fork holds no energy with a missing prong!

Music is the keystone to all my endeavors. It feeds everything. All the things I love to do are informed by music. Even riding my bike. I move through the world, take it in, with a cinematic imagination, and there is always a soundtrack (even if it’s breeze in the trees and birds singing). I have to interact with sound. I have to make sound.

I have always been a singer. I started singing and playing percussion with acoustic musicians for fun in 2018. The beginning of 2019, I joined the Lofi Sofias. Jessica Barnes sent me some of her songs, I sent her Halfbreeds videos. I was blown away by her songwriting. For a couple of months it was just Jessica and me playing together, harmonizing, finding other women to rock with. Before we knew it, we had a band. Toward the end of 2019, I picked up a few chords on the guitar so my band could be the Velvet Underground for a Halloween fundraiser gig called the Monster Mash. I was Lou Reed. From there, I never put the guitar down.

In recent months, I got a Telecaster and a Fender Twin Reverb amp – and – my guitar skills had a leap. Now I play guitar on almost all the songs my band performs – and – I am beginning to write songs on my own. I have always sung other people’s songs or written and arranged music based on what other people brought in (and that is happening, too) because I didn’t play an instrument. Now I have six-strings of power!

Here is my stream of consciousness response to Day One of the 21-Day Manifesting Challenge.

Be Unapologetic About What you Desire

My desire is to manifest real skill in guitar playing and songwriting.

In 21 days I would like to practice guitar for at least 21 hours and have written at least one song.

In what ways does my desire bring me joy?

I feel so much joy and power when I am making music. I’ve been a singer for 35 years, and playing guitar takes things to a new level – I can say what I want to say how I want to say it. I can write music for my voice. I can really let myself wail. I mean – wow – the power, the energy, when the music move through my body is electrifying – and to be able to accompany myself, to rock whenever I want, is so empowering. And then, of course, to rock with others, especially women, is really incredible.

I mean, wow! I finally get to REALLY ROCK. REALLY ROCK!

The beauty, the strength, the power is beyond any experience I have ever had — and I am just at the very beginning of having skill as a guitar player. Oh my God! Oh my God! The potential is pure, the potential is raw, the potential is potent. Making music is the most powerful meditation I know how to do. It is uplifting, immediate, and so joyful. so life-affirming. Even when the music is sad. Oh, my soul, my heart, my voice. When guitar becomes an extension of my expression, of my body, it feels like pure magic.

Yeah, I want that.

January 1, 2021
Flagstaff, AZ