My ritual for the Full Moon was to light a candle and play my guitar and sing. I did what brings me joy. I performed a song for a friend over the phone. It was lovely. Gemini in action!

Next day, I visited with a person who I have been trying to meet up with for about a year. Covid and sick parents thwarted our rendezvous up until now. We chatted over tea and then I noticed her guitars. I asked if she still plays. Next thing I knew, I was playing her guitar upside-down (I am a lefty) and she was playing bass and we were writing a song! 

Then I bopped over to Kit’s house (my Werewolf bandmate) before another meet up. We ran through the songs we are performing December 15th at the Misfit Mingle – a variety show ugly sweater party put on by comedian and podcast host, Lauren LoGiudice. He had a guest at his house who busted out his guitar, too, and before we knew it, we were all singing and making each other laugh. Good goofy fun!

Then I met another friend and we talked about music and bands and tarot and New York and politics and living creative lives. 

Overall, it was a delicious, creative, New York day. 

Looking back

I followed my own suggestion, and looked back at what I was doing throughout the Gemini Lunar Gestation Cycle. 

Gemini New Moon Solar Eclipse 19°46’ on June 10, 2021

Sobriety

Around this time, I made the decision to give up drinking and get sober. I was not drinking that much, but I noticed there was an uptick to my intake. And, I was drinking during band rehearsals. That was new and unacceptable to me, and I couldn’t help myself. I knew it was an insult to the work of music and to my spirit.

I had a lot of changes to make in my life that I didn’t have the strength or courage to do. Drinking had become a crutch that was keeping me from growing. 

This picture is from the last day I had a drink. 

Cosmic Changes and Changing Cosmic Clock

I also changed the painting Cosmic Clock. For a year I’d been sitting with calling the painting finished, and yet, no, something wasn’t right. I looked and watched that painting as it hung on my wall. Over time, the clock needed to move. I switched it’s orientation and changed some of the color. The tiny change felt like a ripple in my creativity!

While writing about Cosmic Clock, I got into the cosmos as well. Astrology was on the forefront of my mind. I wrote:

Embracing change is usually easier than trying to dodge it. Because the planets are poised for deep change, this is a good week to start new habits. Be aware of what you are doing, you don’t want to accidentally start a bad habit. (In the drugs addiction world – you don’t want to “get a habit”. And, I am not going into the Neptune transits here – just to say – be aware and deliberate with your choices this week).

The Cosmic Clock became a metaphor for embracing change. I get deep into it in my post Rewinding the Cosmic Clock. 

Power in Clarity

My newfound clarity also had me feeling inspired to “smash the patriarchy” – or at least the box I was shoving myself into and trying to make OK by drinking. I really had stepped into change, and boy am I feeling the changes now (18 months later). It’s a little scary to not know where I am going to land (I am literally in gypsy mode) every few weeks, but it’s also a lot more interesting than dulling my senses in order to be comfortable to maintain the status quo.

Music joy

The recording Life is Sweet by BirdSavage & Bird in which I sang backups for was released. I very much liked the songs on the album. And, looking for patterns, birds are associated with air and messages – the album was released during the Gemini Solar Eclipse period. I was recently talking about this album! I shared about it then on a post called Summertime Ear Candy.  Check out the post to hear the music – it’s very sweet.

Change can just feel weird – whether you want it or not. Sometimes the thing to do is to dive into the heavy weirdness of it all – which is exactly what I did. I broke up the grooves by working and dancing to Bomb! in Madness Grooves. 

Courage to Show Up – and ask for what I want and need

Finally, my brilliant friend, deep astrologer, change-maker, and artist, Sydney Francis, inspired me to get away for a weekend and take a leadership seminar. The two of us hadn’t talked in a while, and I could see the changes she had made in her life were good for her. And I was immersed in change myself – and wanted to keep moving in the right direction.

I didn’t have the money to go to the seminar – and – I really wanted to go. Sydney helped me devise a plan to have an art and music fundraiser. I suspended my doubts and fears around asking for help, and, that my work had any value to anyone. I dove in, announced my intentions, and within a couple of days put on a Flash Solstice Show.  

Here are some videos from that show – 

A murder ballad – What’s Done is Done by Jack White – we sang for an online audience before the live audience showed up . . . (Oh boy! Talk about trust! Who knew if people would come, we had all doors and windows open, air was flowing, but the pandemic was still looming, and, even without fear of death, people so often say they will come to shows and then they don’t). 

Treatment Bound – Paul Westerberg

Love is Blindness – U2

Continuing on the theme of art – Cosmic Clock sold from my art show Dreaming in Cyan at the Heartbox in Flagstaff. After months of being tied up in customs, the painting arrived in Greece to it’s new home! The colors are perfect.

Be, Do, Have also found it’s way to a new home in Washington State. It’s new owner very kindly wrote this: 

This painting was created by my friend Holly Troy. I believe she gets her energy from the sky and the universe and transforms it to canvas. I thought I would let it get re-energized under the sky, kind of like the way you put a crystal in the Sun. Look at the way this painting vibrates. I love it so much. It’s inspiring”

The Lofi Sofias released a single, too. I hoped they would have released more songs by now, but I haven’t seen any. 

I left the band partly because I was leaving Flagstaff, and I partly left Flagstaff because I left the band. We rushed to record an album’s worth of material – it’s too bad it was never released.

Jessica Barnes is an outstanding songwriter, I imagine she will put out her music with another band (I hope). 

I also imagine that in the coming weeks news about the Lofi Sofias will surface, or about Jessica’s work will surface – because this cosmic story isn’t over.

This one’s called Without a Radio. (I’m singing very buried backups).

Despite leaving music in Flagstaff, it continued for me in New York.

A special feeling

I joined a band called The Werewolves of Brooklyn and played my first gig in Manhattan after an 18 year silence. 

With all my life experience, and the mythical quality of The Werewolves of Brooklyn, I created this band bio:

Holly hails from an illustrious lineage of fortune tellers, yogis, folk healers, troubadours and poets of the fine and mystical arts. Shape-shifting Tantric Siren of the Lunar Mysteries, she surfs the ebbs and flows of the multiverse on the Pure Sound of Creation. Her alchemy is Sacred Folly — revolutionary transformation through Love, deep play, Beauty, and music.

After rehearsing one afternoon, we went out for coffee and the barista said – “You all look like you are in a band.”

In all my years playing music, no one has ever said that. It sounds silly, but that comment was deeply satisfying and made us all happy.

Oh! The return to music in the city was epic – a lifetime! (It’s also part of the larger lunar eclipse cycle that lasts approximately 18 to 19 years). I learned so much in that time, and did so much in that time:

• I was a workshop leader and yoga instructor;
• I was a (sometimes competitive) mountain biker;
• I know more about printing and the printing business than anyone would ever want to know;
• I was an executive assistant on the trading floor of an Australian investment bank;
• I got very serious about astrology and tarot;
• I learned reiki;
• I quit waiting tables;
• I lived in Tucson, Phoenix and Flagstaff;
• I lived in a town of 327 Mormons and Buddhists in Utah – after two weeks I had to leave;
• I continued my studies of the chakras through a kundalini yoga intensive in Sedona, AZ;
• I went to the Amazon with a group of healers and practiced reiki, taught yoga and did ayahuasca there;
• I got married;
• I got divorced;
• I experienced financial ruin;
• I owned a Prius;
• I lived in Flagstaff without a car on purpose for eight years and chose bicycling and walking as my only forms of transportation;
• I started painting again;
• I had two major art shows;
• I changed my relationship with money;
• I developed a daily pleasure ritual;
• I learned how to use a jade egg;
• I learned how to laugh at myself;
• I chanted Aham Prema (I am Divine Love) 125,000 times;
• I looked at the moon (a lot);
• I spent a lot of time alone in nature;
• I fell in love a few times;
• I lost my sister to addiction;
• I lost my brother to addiction;
• I hugged a lot of trees;
• I made great friends;
• I became a life model last minute when the person initially hired didn’t show up – turns out I’m good at it and I love it;
• I talked to a psychic;
• I paid a lot of money to hang out in Telluride;
• I saw Neil Young perform in Telluride;
• I saw the Meat Puppets, the Chris Robinson Brotherhood, and Raising Appalachia in Flagstaff;
• I got back into performing music after John Tveten from Raillery called me on stage to sing an Irish tune;
• I joined an acoustic Americana band called the Conduits;
• I sang with Bluegrass band Lucky Lenny;
• I created an acoustic duo called Holly and Pauly;
• I was a founding member of the only all-girl garage punk band in Flagstaff, the Lofi Sofias;
• I played acoustic guitar and sang in Girl Band;
• I never paid to stay in Telluride again as a musician;
• I enjoyed really good food;
• I got the hang of being gluten-free;
• I gave up gummy bears and booze;
• I tried hypnosis and loved it (it’s in the back of my mind to become a hypnotherapist);
• I released a guided meditation cd;
• I hired a life coach and am so grateful I did;
• I asked deep questions about sustainability and began a master’s degree in sustainable communities;
• I was in a serious car accident and my master’s degree was put on permanent hold;
• I wrote poetry and stories;
• I joined a couple of book clubs;
• I chose to believe that vulnerability is power

Mantra Practice

Happening Now

Sun in Sagittarius Full Moon Gemini 16º1′ – December 7, 2022

What am I celebrating now and committing to?

Relationships

In the last year I have made some wonderful new friends, where I feel loved and nurtured just for being myself and showing up to life. I am really happy to have connections that are honest, spiritual, joyful, loving, and creative. I believe my friends are in my life because I show up for myself, I allow myself to be vulnerable and curious. 

And my friends that I have had for decades – I am so grateful for their love and support, and all the joy and laughter and adventures we have had and will continue to have.

I am doing my best to let people know how grateful I am for them. I have a lot of people to thank!

I let go of being guarded. 

Music

Music is playing out in a huge way! 

Just this week, the deep dive with the Werewolves of Brooklyn for some upcoming shows is wonderful. And, it is all-consuming and unsustainable. It is clear to me that I must define how I will show up. 

What do I want to do?

I’m certain I want to record and write songs.

Performing is great fun, and, rehearsing and being in the city is expensive. I’ve got to find balance there. Perhaps perform in New England and let my mates come to me?

For now, I am enjoying the experience of the upcoming shows, and shifting the way I will do shows in the future.

I also have potential projects with several other folks in the works – I must define boundaries while remaining flexible with creativity. 

Art-making

Making art was put on the back burner for me for almost a year. While caregiving for Mom, I could not muster up the time. Now I am moving from place to place, so it is the space to make art that is the issue. 

I have a huge project in the early middle stages though. And it is moving along, and I am excited as it builds. More will be revealed in the coming months. 

And, I am doing tiny things day by day. 

Art isn’t all output. There is so much looking right now. Taking in new imagery. Noticing all the beauty and “accidental” art all around me. Evidence of life! 

Photography has been an essential part of my existence for years now. I am, at the very least, an image collector. 

Tarot and Astrology

I had been thinking about whether or not I want to continue tarot, and/or at what depth I want to go with it.

And just like that, four people I had worked with reached out to me to tell me how their lives have been unfolding since their sessions with me, and how much comfort those sessions brought them.

The work is useful – and I love it! So, it will continue.

Finances

I am continuing to grow my relationship with money. Just like the rest of my life, I am allowing myself to feel and have ease – and to be curious, joyful, and loving – around money. It’s making a difference in how I experience so much in my life – especially in terms of giving and receiving with grace. 

What if I thrive doing what I love? 

How much money do I want to make in a year, a month, a week, a day?

What new skills can I learn to earn and create prosperity?

What if all of my needs were met easily and effortlessly?

Interstitial moment

This time of year always feels liminal – the end of autumn and the weeks leading up to my birthday and the winter solstice feel like time curling in on itself. It’s both dense and impossibly light at once.

There is so much potential hanging in the air. 

I want to also:

• continue with regularity – aham prema;
• yoga and yoga teaching;
• workshop creating and leading;
• modeling;
• good health practices / eating well / treating myself with kindness and love
• spiritual connection
• time outdoors – hiking and biking
• more looking, noticing
• allow more ways to be of service to others

I let go of:

• conformity, especially as it plays out in the perpetual high school scenario of social media;
• getting too wrapped up in the city;
• being overwhelmed by frustration with the healthcare system, especially for older people;
• habits of procrastination;
• sleeping in late / going to bed late

What has the full moon illuminated for you?

As we move toward the Solstice on December 21st and the New Moon in Capricorn on December 23rd, consider asking yourself:

• What am I celebrating?
• What has served me that I can now let go of?
• What doesn’t serve me that I can let go of?
• What do I want more of in my life?
• How can I be of service?

Have an amazing day!!! And good cheer into the next season . . . 

Peace and love,

Holly

December 15, 2022
Brooklyn, NY